"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Monday, June 28, 2004

some insights on the caterpillar

here are results of some of the tests i've taken at http://web.tickle.com:

========== --- ==========

My Gift for Gab:

Kulit, your gift for gab is Rallying The Troops!

From team captain to project leader to trusted friend, you're a natural when it comes to inspiring others and setting a good example. Supportive and trustworthy, you're the go-to person when a confidence boost is needed. Sure, you give sound advice and you have innovative ideas, but what you really excel at is helping others feel encouraged, appreciated, and motivated.

i know about rallying the troops but...ows? that is where i excel at? really? i didn't know that much...

========== --- ==========

My Inkblot Test Result: what drives my subconscious mind

Kulit, your subconscious mind is driven most by Curiosity

This means you are full of questions about life, people, and the potential of your future. You spend more time than others envisioning the possibilities of your life - things that others are too afraid to consider.

Your curiosity burns with an almost physical need to know and do more. It's only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself or the world which ultimately is the greatest way for you to feel satisfied.

It is possible that the underlying reason for your drive towards curiosity is a deeply rooted fear of boredom. That means that you are probably more susceptible than others to feel like you're falling into a rut when life slows down into a comfortable routine.

You need to make sure you have stimulation in your life that makes you feel like you're innovating or being exposed to the ideas and experiences that truly inspire you.

With such a strong orientation towards curiosity, you're also prone to a rebellious quality that shows up when you feel you are just going through the motions, and are unable to really influence the world around you. But interestingly enough, your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don't have, but wish they did.

Unconsciously, your curiosity presses you to learn more, experience more, and get the most out of life.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Curiosity, there is much more to who you are at your core.

i agree. i was born curious. i'm afraid of boredom -- i don't want it to be the cause of my death (cross my heart!); that's why i tend to be always on the go, even up to the point of spreading myself too thinly, both literally and figuratively speaking. now, imagine a very very thin hyper-active (and yeah, you can add the adjective babbling) caterpillar, that's me! plus, i'm pretty sure there's a rebel lurking in me.

========== --- ==========

My Multiple Intelligences Test Result

Kulit, you're smartest when it comes to visual/spatial intelligence

Others may take their environments for granted but not you. Because of your visual/spatial intelligence you really see the world around you. This strength often helps you better appreciate the beauty and detail in everyday things. From shapes in nature to the structure of a fine automobile, a countless variety of things hold your interest.

Having this particular kind of heightened awareness can allow you to form accurate mental images of existing places and objects. In extreme cases, one might call this strength a photographic memory. Being visually/spatially intelligent also means that you likely have a vivid imagination that can be put to use in a variety of creative or professional endeavors.

oww...so, now i see...

========== --- ==========

My True Talent

Kulit, your true talent is spatial ability.

Your ability to visualize objects in three-dimensional space gives you a unique view of the world. Because of this talent, you are much better than most people at imagining new designs including floor plans, page layouts, and three dimensional objects.

How do we know that's your true talent? While you were taking the test, we calculated your responses to each test question and rated your skills in 5 areas. You scored highest on spatial ability.

People like you are usually great when it comes to putting together assemble-it-yourself furniture or other household items — whether the items arrive with instructions or not. Your spatial skills also help you understand the finer points of how things work.

And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results. You also have other hidden talents that can have a dramatic effect on your career, your life and how other people see you.
if you really paid some attention, it's easy to see that this is consistent with the previous one. i guess it really must be true about me...

========== --- ==========

7 Secrets of Highly Successful People Test

Kulit, your secret to success is to be Imaginative

Your ability to look at the world from fresh perspectives keeps you both in touch with what's current and able to come up with novel solutions to vexing problems. Unlike many people, you're not one to stick to tradition if something isn't working. Most of the time, you'd rather make up your own new-and-improved traditions. By creating fresh ideas from old ones, people like you can become pioneers in their chosen fields.

Being inventive is a gift. While others rely on tried and true methods, your natural tendency is to seek out innovative alternatives. This trait can make you a great leader in creative brainstorming sessions, business process improvement taskforces, and other areas where innovation is a must.
hmmm...interesting and...insightful. still, it would be better for people who know me to have their say on these results. they're in the best positions to either back the results up, or contradict them. *grins*

Sunday, June 27, 2004

even so, it hurts

"it is just a film. it is a construction. even so, it hurts." --- from the film RECONSTRUCTION
yeah right.
it was just a film. it was just a construction. even so, it hurt. not just my emotions got hurt, but my pockets, too. there's really a price to pay when you go to the movies, but there's really something you gain, and that's the way life goes here. thank you to my friend the volcano for taking me to greenbelt to watch one of makati cinemanila's featured films with her or i would have missed that danish movie which, in a way, reinforced my views on love and life (*deep sigh*).
according to the movie, men and women see love differently. for men, it is an imposed end as they want love to take them by suprise. for women, it is a planned decision. for the caterpillar, love is a paradox...it should be a nice mix of imposed end and planned decision and a lot more (*groans*).
just a second...i'm not the one talking, am i? (quantum) well...you and i will get used to this. even so, it hurts.  

Thursday, June 17, 2004

because this caterpillar is weird

if you find this entry weird, it's not surprising! this entry, this site, this whole thing is weird. i mean, it should be weird...because it's supposed to be weird, just like the way i am...WEIRD! *giggles*
bed buddies
  • i slept with spiderman last month
  • this month, i'm sleeping with prince eric
  • i slept with piglet last month
  • this month, i'm sleeping with the little mermaid, flounder, and piglet
  • i slept with hello kitty last month (yikes!!! hello kitty! ulk!)
  • this month, i'm sleeping with hello kitty (double yikes! double ulk!)

spiderman, prince eric, little mermaid, and flounder - they all belong to my sheets.

piglet - stuck on my comfy round pillow, the one pillow i brought all the way from iligan.

hello kitty on my pillow case - i think i should replace it with the sunflowers soooooooon. never mind that i don't like sunflowers either...but yeah, i'd choose them over hello kitty, think about that!

spiderman, prince eric, little mermaid, flounder, piglet, and...ulk...hello kitty - together, they keep me company and scare toshio the borax-faced boy (of the grudge/ju-on fame)away. in the dead of the night, especially when my roommate is nowhere near, they somehow help in keeping my (in)sanity under control. *rolls on the floor laughing* 

by the way, i think harry potter would make a good guardian bedmate. when the dementors start coming to get me, his patronus charm will do the trick and save me. *giggles*. thinking further, toshio the borax-faced boy will fall for harry the boy who lived, and they will live happily ever after. nice twist, huh? *laughs impishly*  

caterpillar chuva-ness aside from learning physics and teaching physics

okay fine...i'm guilty! i admit: i'm a nerd and proud to be one. satisfied?! i think so! you're silent...guess i can continue.

  • i'm currently reading broca's brain by carl sagan. if you don't know who carl sagan is, that's just okay. (there's always google for you!) *winks*
  • this attempt at blogging is doing wonders for me. i'm beginning to understand a little bit (according to my own reckoning) of html coding. yehey! i'm learning! can't wait 'til i get enough patience (and time) to learn how to photoblog! i'll talk about my baguio trip through a photoblog, you just wait.
  • i'm currently interested with ambigrams - words or group of words that are legible in at least two different ways. dan brown's angels and demons book is to blame!
  • i've been going to the bookshops, looking for the "full-of-geeky-stuff" (my friend's description) book entitled cryptonomicon by neal stephenson. those bookstore people keep telling me it's out of stock. uh-oh, forget that i'm so eager to get hold of a copy of that book!
  • i miss screaming while watching scary, not-so-scary and not-scary-at-all movies, the sticky floors cinemas, and the oh-so-comfy-but-oh-so-"heavy-for-the-pockets" cinemas. ah, but i see hope...there are filmfests to look forward to!!! yes, yes, yes! i can enjoy screamfests again! yes, yes, yes! i have reasons to live... and to understand quantum dots are one of them! oh my... thesis! *PANIC ATTACK*

question of the moment

why do i love doing the things that i love doing? honestly, right now, i deem it as a pointless question but weird being that i am, i wouldn't mind if you provide me with answers. talk while i'm taking a breather!

Sunday, June 13, 2004

caterpillar sonnets: the see-saw trio

sonnet #21: --- --
-=-vkpm, 2002-=-

My eyes look around what surrounds me
Waiting...waiting for your gaze to meet mine,
Imagining...imagining you'll blow me a kiss of love,
Hoping...hoping to be moved by the sweet wind lingering in your soul.
My mind wanders, thrilled to seek you
Dreaming...dreaming of you and the wonderful memory of your warm smile,
Delighting...delighting in the lovely thoughts
I can't help but see in your eyes,
Believing...believing I was born to sing
Such gentle tune echoing from your heart,

========== --- ==========

sonnet #19: BLACKOUT
-=-vkpm, april 2003-=-

A mere memory floats, rises and fades;
A heart beats, skips and weeps;
A dream dims and goes out;
A story dies and never unfolds.

The mind struggles to forget
But the soul clings to hope;
Words from long ago echo through,
The being tormented and haunted so.

Pure emotions, they freely flow;
Suppression gets beaten, control weakens;
A longing from the depths escapes;
The feeling sinks and drowns in tears.

There it goes...
One shining star beyond reach.

========== --- ==========

sonnet #6: ILLUSION
-=-vkpm, 2003-=-

Tonight I’d gaze at the moon and scan the sky
And the night shall embrace me as I sigh
For I see you near even though you’re far,
As though where I am is where you are.

Tonight I shall fly and sleep on a cloud;
Alone I shall be ‘neath the stars above our ground,
But when I close my eyes you’ll come around
To embrace me warmly, gently in the cold.

Tonight I shall wait for things to unfold,
(Though waiting takes time and I already lost a rhyme)
For I may be merely living in a dream
Yet I always wonder every time I see you beam:

Is it you who’s here,
Or is it me who’s there...
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