"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Saturday, August 14, 2004

thought salad

"hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil"

blind item?

how’s this for news? blind man stabs blind foe dead (PDI, august 12, 2004). sounds interesting, huh?

according to the report, the blind suspect (who lives in the facility for the blind where the crime happened) attacked the also blind victim when the latter came to the facility to visit relatives. the suspect was able to positively identify his victim (whom he accused of spreading negative things about him) by sound. a blind witness was able to positively identify the suspect, also, by sound.

doesn’t news like that make you go “tsk…tsk…tsk…” and shake your head? i’m amused despite the tragedy.

US$1.00 = PhP 55.68

the philippine government is spending about US$ 155, 000 everyday for the useless bataan nuclear power plant. whoa! such spending will go on until at least 2018. whoa times two! no wonder this country is so poor and will continue to be so unless...oh no, never mind.

go home and eat kamote.

that’s what i wanna do right now, and i don’t mean that as a joke. i miss eating boiled kamote and boiled saging with bagoong. yum, yum, yum.


as you well know (that is if you’ve been reading my blog), i’ve been through hell. i’ve been through too much last week that by sunday morning (the morning after my last post in this blog), i felt so heavy although i was sure that the wind could have easily blown me away. added to all the woes, i had to spend sunday night studying for an exam scheduled the next day. since i had to study six chapters of solid state physics despite my troubled mental and emotional states, i was not able to sleep until about 3am.

nightmare #x

and it happened again…

my roommate spends a lot of time in los baños rather than in diliman, so most of the time, i get to sleep alone in our room across the busy kitchen. despite those stories of our dorm being haunted and such stuff, i don’t have a problem with sleeping alone and i could sleep peacefully with the lights off. well, not always…

as i was saying, i spent sunday night studying for an exam and did not sleep until 3am. since i was already so tired when i turned off the lights, said my prayer and hit the bed, i reached dreamland oh so quickly.

i was pulled out of dreamland just as quickly.

they came. they came to disturb my sleep…again. (music maestro! I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell…) an unknown force grabbed my feet and pulled me up from the bed. my recognition of fear was instant and i did not dare to take a peek in the darkness. instead, i struggled to keep my eyes more shut. i tried to resist the pull by holding on to my sheets while trying to call for help, but i was being pulled still. i then realized it just wasn’t my feet being pulled, but my head as well. what was worse, i was already shouting and yet no words were coming out of my mouth. already on the verge of panic, i asked Him to make it stop and He did. i woke up drenched with my own sweat and with the sensation that my right leg was feeling so numb. my left leg was feeling numb, too... but not quite as numb as my right. you could say that all that was just due to a bad sleeping position and i will not disagree (after all, that’s a way better explanation than unseen beings!). but…

things happening like that (i mean being disturbed while sleeping), even if only in dreams, don’t sit well with me. it’s not the first time i had an experience like that and i don’t believe that it’s the last. i’m quite prepared for the next, yet the mere thought, whenever it crosses my mind, scares me every time, knowing that in such situations i’m against monsters i don’t see. my remaining strength solely lies in the fact that even when i’m asleep, i still remember to call the One who could make it stop, no matter what.

P.S. (1) the nightmare didn’t, in any way, help improve the status of my well-being. (2) i felt better by monday night; the feeling of being sooooooo weighed down finally lifted off. yesssssssssss! (3) the exam last monday was not pushed through and was re-scheduled(?) to a more convenient date. ‘allelujah!

what truth?

my roommate says there are no truths, only bases. what's true for you may be different from what's true for me; but what you deem to be true has basis, and my "truth" has that, too.

ayrton senna

so what about him?

he made me like formula one (F1) races. he's one of the greatest F1 drivers. he's the reason why i could never be a fan of michael schumacher, and he died years before i learned about him. pagkabam!


  1. schumi pa rin!!! but yeah, SENNA is legendary. a lot of kids are named after him. FYI.

    originally posted on 08.15.04 - 8:48 pm using Haloscan comment board

  2. so that means...as much as i like his name, i can't name any of my would be kids (i'm thinking ahead, LOL!) ayrton. naaaaa...

    originally posted on 08.16.04 - 5:25 pm using Haloscan comment board

  3. ayrton would have been a nice name for a future kid...

    you can actually talk to "them" when they visit you at night. y'know, like ask them politely to stop playing 'coz you're daed tired or you're not in the mood or things like that. works all the time, they say.

    oh, and that roommate of yours is wise. i mean, based on what she said about "truths".

    originally posted on 08.18.04 - 4:06 am using Haloscan comment board

  4. i agree. ayrton is a nice name! naaaa....

    originally posted on 08.18.04 - 3:29 pm using Haloscan comment board


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