"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

looking, going, then gone

"You know that place between sleep and awake,
the place where you can still remember dreaming?..."

-- Tinkerbell in the movie, Hook


after quite a long time, i dreamt of him again.

just like the last time, i didn't see his face, i doubt if i ever will... but i knew it was him. he was standing a good distance away from me, and, weird it may be that i could tell, he was looking at me.

i couldn't see his face but i could feel his eyes on me, and i just felt the need for me to look away.

i did look away, but only for awhile. when i looked again, he was still there, standing a good distance away from me, but he's no longer looking at me... he had turned such that he had his back facing me.

...and then, he started walking away, slowly and without a sound.

i was tempted to call out his name when he started to go, but i held back knowing that even if i did, he wouldn't turn around for me. so i just looked as he trodded away to where i don't know. i looked until i got so familiar with his back, until the distance ate him up, until he faded and became one with the horizon.

6 comments:

  1. uuuyyy...

    who's "him"???

    originally posted on 01.26.05 - 12:48 am using Haloscan comment board

    ReplyDelete
  2. one thing i have learned in life: take the chance. take the risk.

    you don't want to die asking, "what if?"

    originally posted on 01.26.05 - 9:49 am using Haloscan comment board

    ReplyDelete
  3. i second tsutsugamushi. we only live once. i don't regret anything i've done, but i do regret that I have not done certain things. good luck

    originally posted on 01.26.05 - 1:22 pm using Haloscan comment board

    ReplyDelete
  4. :+: :)

    thumbs up. smile.

    originally posted on 01.28.05 - 12:01 am using Haloscan comment board

    ReplyDelete
  5. da who kaha ning him?

    originally posted on 01.28.05 - 9:13 pm using Haloscan comment board

    ReplyDelete
  6. since my dreams do not allow me to see his face, "him" could be anyone i think him to be. ;-)

    i'd like to think of that (bad) dream as a choose-your-own-character(s) type.

    hahaha... :D

    originally posted on 01.30.05 - 11:49 pm using Haloscan comment board

    ReplyDelete

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