"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Monday, June 27, 2005

tagged!

tagged once

i got tagged by babypink and here's what i have to do...

What are the things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play? What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it in your journal/blog, and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it in theirs.

ahem. ahem. here's my list...

walking around. eating ice cream. sky-watching. daydreaming. reading. writing. doodling. netsurfing. talking to myself (as in blah blah blah blah blah...). humming. listening to music, listening to nature. sleeping. tinkering. taking my own pictures. playing bounce out or text twist. catching dreams in my head.

then, i tag: alan ambot, trickyboy, javamiggs, sealdi and tsutsugamushi!


tagged twice!... and in 3's

this time, i got tagged by alan.

Three names you go by:
1. val
2. inday
3. teng

Three screen names you have had:
1. caterpillar
2. kulit
3. jr3

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. shape of my face
2. thickness of my hair strands
3. lips

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. nice eyes with poor eyesight
2. jutting bones (hahaha!)
3. my smallest toes

Three parts of your heritage:
1. malay (as in "malay ko"? hehehe...)
2. spanish (1/8)
3. chinese (1/32)

Three things that scare you:
1. dogs
2. death
3. losing hope

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. water
2. air
3. fire (a.k.a. drive to love and live!)

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. gary v.
2. beatles
3. side a

Three of your favorite songs:
1. iris by goo goo dolls
2. light and shade by fra lippo lippi
3. ngayon at kailanman by basil valdez

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. love
2. growth
3. commitment

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
(lies)
1. i do not miss anybody.
2. nothing makes me happy.
3. i am always right.

(truths)
1. i want to be home.
2. i took time to think about this.
3. the hello garci tapes exist.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. eyes
2. haircut
3. jawline

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. writing
3. drawing

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. get a massage
2. sleep and dream
3. do some fixing

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. research
2. teaching
3. parenting

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. batanes
2. europe
3. mars (pwede?)

Three kid's names you like:
1. bonbon
2. b2
3. cedric

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. get my master's degree
2. get married and love unconditionally
3. make my deep gladness and the world's needs meet

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. i like dealing with mechanical systems
2. i'm comfortable wearing jeans and shirts, not skirts and blouses
3. i am not into make up

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. i really like lemon yellow
2. i can shriek!
3. sappy

Three celeb crushes:
1. george clooney (yeah, yeah, i know he's old)
2. jesse bradford
3. brendan fraser (with honors... blast from the past...)

so there!

Monday, June 20, 2005

kabisdakan et al...

og karon, magbinisaya sa jud ko. pasaylo-on na lang ko dapat sa mga dili kasabot ug binisaya kay gibati jud nako nga magladlad sa akong true colors.

ang title man unta ani nga post kay june 18, kaso murag dili man kaayo patok ang dating... mao na nga kabisdakan et al na lang. ang ako hinuon ikadalit karon kay bahin sa june 18, adlaw sa mga bisaya.

hunyo diseotso dos mil singko. sabado.

gasabot-sabot ming mga bisaya bloggers nga ania sa manila nga magtapok-tapok aron magkainilhanay sab mi personally ug dili lang pinaagi sa emails og blogs og ym. ang nasabutan nga venue kay starbucks sa shangri-la plaza mall og ang takna kay lunchtime. charrus! dili biya sab mi tantong sosyal. starbucks ra biya.

anyway, na-late ko... as useless. adtong on the way nako to shang, gi-text ko ni sealdi na dili na daw ko moadto sa starbucks kay sa tokyo tokyo na lang daw ko adto. payts ra pud sa ako oi. in fairness, dugay dugay nako galatagaw sa metro manila, wala ko kabalo asa dapit ang starbucks sa shang, hahaha... pero kabalo ko asa ang tokyo tokyo. no problemo. ang nahitabo, gihimo lang nga abutanan nilang bhevs, jory, gail og ni sealdi ang starbucks, ayos! mga wais jud.


bhevs and jory a.k.a. cesar montano, hahaha


gail and sealdi

mga ala-una y medya na ko nakaabot sa tokyo tokyo, ako na jud! wala ko nawala noh, langayan lang jud ko. pag-abot nako, hapit na sila mahuman og kaon (nag-picture picture na pud sila! waaaaaa...) and since nakakaon naman ko, ningpalit lang kog iced tea para dili sab ko maka-feel na OP ko sa ilang kaon-kaon. tapos, picture picture na pud, gi-document kunohay ang among first time na panagtapok-tapok. hehehe...


gail, sealdi, ako

after sa kaon-kaon, tabi-tabi jutay og katawa-katawa (kusog ayo among mga tingog, gapaila lang jud), nanghawa na mi sa tokyo tokyo kay motan-aw daw mi ug sine. gi-check namo ang rates sa mga sinehan sa shang og nagdecide mi nga sa gateway na lang mi manan-aw kay gusto man pud nilang gail and bhevs nga mapadpad sa gateway. ningsakay mig MRT padulong cubao kung asa ang gateway, and as useless, saba lang japun kaayo mi, mura mig 50 years na nag-ila.


kunyari wala mi nagsaba-saba, ngisi lang


kunyari mga hilumon, pahiyom lang

adtong niabot nami sa gateway og niabot na sa lapag kung asa ang mga sinehan, nagpalit mig tickets para sa batman begins. gikuyogan lang mi ni jory a.k.a. cesar montano sa gateway pero wala na siya ning apil og tan-aw sa batman begins kay asikasuhon sa daw niya iyang lovelife. hehehe. in fairness, nindot baya ang batman begins, wala ko nagmahay sa akong gibayad. giahak lang jud si katie, kay murag everytime mo-appear iyang face sa screen kay makahinumdom mi sa chismis about nila ni tom cruise. unsaon! anyway, nindot lang japun ang batman begins minus katie holmes. hahaha! tapos, ingon si bhevs, si christian bale daw ang klase sa lalake nga pwede ignon ug "hurt me, hurt me!" na...unsaon? oi bhevs ha... grabe, masokista ra kaayo ka. isa lang akong ika-ingon about christian bale: kung lami siya as laurie sa little women, mas lami siya as batman. hahaha! yamats na, i think i just ruined my reputation. sa tanan ba namang words pwede gamiton, lami? hala ka dinha.

pagkahuman sa salida, nanghawa na sad mi sa gateway og ningsakay mig MRT pabalik sa ortigas kung asa ang venue sa fete de la musique 2005 nga gusto sab namo ma-witness. (gwabe, witness man jud.) anyway, pag-abot namog ortigas, naglaroy-laroy sa mi sa SM megamall and nagdecide mi nga mangaon sa kfc. samtang galakaw-lakaw mi ug nangita sa kfc, natagbuan namo ang.... ting tining tinining... junior kilat.

aws way kurat. junior kilat ra bitaw. tymsa... junior kilat!!!

ingnan nga walay lagi'y kurat. nanakay mi sa escalator og ang junior kilat nawala na sa among field of vision and then... poof! junior kilat jud lagi to sila bai!!! impulsively, nagdecide mi nga moapas sa banda. hala ka dinha. so, igo ra pud mi niabot sa next floor, ningsakay na pud mig escalator panaog sa among gigikanan nga floor og nagdali-dalig lakaw para maabtan namo ang junior kilat. kataw-anan kaayo among gibuhat, hahaha! sa among upat, kami lang man ni sealdi nakarecognize sa junior kilat. si bhevs og si gail kay clueless kung kinsa sa mga tawo nga naa sa mall ang junior kilat pero sila ang game mo-approach sa mga miyembro sa banda. og sa dihang...

bhevs: "Asa nman sila? Kinsa man akoa storyahun ug duolun diri?"*
gail: "Kamo 'tong banda na Junior Kilat?"*

bwahahaha, hastang lingawa. kami ni sealdi gaagik-ik og kinatawa sa nahitabo. lingaw kaayo ming upat og maayo na lang kay game kaayo ang banda. kasabot ra pud sila sa among kabuang. ebidensiya o...




struck by junior kilat
klaro man sa among mga ngisi ba nga nalingaw mi?

sa tinuod lang, first time to nako nagpaka-starstruck harap-harapan. usually, maka-maintain bya ko'g "no reaction, deadma, paki ko" attitude bisan kinsa pa na nga sikat. grabe junior kilat na jud. proud ko kay bisaya sila. payts.

in fairness, wala ra pud bya mi nakalimot nga mao ng galakaw-lakaw mi sa mega kay mangaon mi. ang kaso, wala namo na-locate ang kfc so nag-pizza hut mi. tabi-kaon na sab, dala katawa sa among mga kabuang. pagkahuman namo didto sa pizza hut after ten thousand years (yeah, ingon ana mi kadugay nakahawa didto kay langay ayo ilang mga tawo), nagbulagbulag na mi: si bhevs nibalik sa iyang office and si gail gisundo iyang mga boylets somewhere sa megamall, samtang kami ni sealdi nisulod sa department store para palitan og panyo si manman nga kauban namo motan-aw sa fete. ang among gipalit kay labakara, hehehe, kami na jud.

niabot mi sa main stage didto sa el pueblo igo-igo pud hapit na ang opening sa music fest pero wala namo nakit-an si manman. sa may kilid mi nagtindog ni sealdi samtang si manman nagpwesto didto jud dapit sa soundbooth. didto lang mi ni sealdi sa may kilid sayaw sayaw (as if! yes na lang gud!) habang nagperform si cynthia alexander, ang tropical depression, og ambot unsa to nga banda nga hapit nagpatulog sa ako. anyway, lingaw kaayo mi bisan tuod gubot kaayo ang mga orcs-slash-punkista nga sige og katkat sa secondary stage aron mopapel. at one point, nagkagubot pa jud kay naay nag-away, niabot sila didto dapit kung asa mi nagtindog. saon! adtong hapit na magperform ang junior kilat, namalhin nami ni sealdi atubangan sa soundbooth kung asa si manman ug kung asa mas okay ang view and wala kaayo'y usok sa sigarilyo ug kung asa tua ang tubig ni manman nga among giinom ni sealdi, hahaha. ayos kaayo ang set sa junior kilat, lingaw kaayo, dako kaayo mig ngisi. gikanta nila ang m-16, akong paborito nga 'k fyne, sigbin og suyop! mga 11:30 na to adtong panahona... after sa junior kilat set, nanguli nami ni sealdi, gibyaan na namo si manman. hehehe sayo kaayo mi nanguli... wala man gud ang brownman revival, so junior kilat ra jud among gipaabot nga reggae act.

and what a night!!! ningsakay mig taxi para pabalik sa diliman... kabalo mog unsa'y nahitabo? ngek, wala mi nahold-up noh. may ra pud.

aside from kataw-anan kaayo ang mga comments sa taxi driver bahin sa radio station nga iyang ginapaminaw kay ang tugtog lagi daw kay murag pangpatay ug panghatod sa mga tatay sa hukay, ningtirik ang taxi in the middle of edsa, hahaha!!! laugh trip. ay, niingon na ba ko na bisaya sab ang driver? bwahahaha...

di bale na nga namalahan akong likod ug singot, di bale na nga halos nalumos akong lungs sa kadaghan nakog nasimhotan nga sidestream smoke, di bale na nga hapit mi natumba adtong nagkagubot sa fete, di bale na nga sick akong status karon, yes na lang... lingaw man!


*gikuha nako sa blog ni gail.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

i, his girl... always

and he is structure -- my papang... my main man... always.

-¤-

i lost count how many times i wanted to go back to those days when i was the little girl...

...who reached up to him so i could be scooped up into his arms and be able to put my sleepy head on his shoulder and wrap my small arms around his neck.

...who watched him as he gently held my tiny fingers to clean and trim my nails.

...who grinned from ear to ear, giggling with laughter, babbling happily about some things as i sat on his shoulders and felt like a princess who had everyone at her beck and call.

...who stayed near the door and patiently waited for him day after day until he came home.

...who gamely told him stories of how i spent the day, why i got a new wound, or how i "heroically" dealt with a mishap.

...who played under his drawing table, turning the wingnuts found on his table's supports and pretending them to be control knobs of my spaceship. (hehehe. oo, bata pa lang ako, may tama na ako!)

...who shocked him with my boldness to fire a rubber bullet into his father's (my lolo's) foot because it was resting on our table and not on the floor.

...who asked him for his scratch papers and demanded for colored pens because i wanted to draw my own house even if all i could manage to do that time was to stain the papers.

i know i can't go back to those days. the girl that i am today is already years and leaps apart from the little girl that i was, yet there are things far better than my childhood memories with papang that continue to stay with me...

his time, his unconditional love, his passion for providing for the family and giving us what money cannot buy, his showing us what things in life are truly important, his good values, the freedom that he gave me and my brother, his support and guidance through his sound decision-making skills, his genes, his name.


thank you, Lord, for giving me a good father and making me a blessed girl.

Monday, June 13, 2005

books (part 2)

A good book should leave you... slightly exhausted at the end.
You live several lives while reading it.

--William Styron


love story
this masterpiece by erich segal starts with "What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful, and brilliant, that she loved Mozart and Bach. And the Beatles and me." it tells a story -- a love story -- that's both happy and sad. part of the book's appeal to me is the fact that the story unfolds using the guy's point of view. the first lines alone are haunting enough and the first person narrative style makes the story believable and more heartwarming. in this book, love is not treated with much mush.


first-meeting repartee:
"What the hell makes you so smart and me so stupid?"
"I wouldn't go for coffee with you?"
"Listen! I wouldn't ask you."
"That." she said "Is what makes you so stupid."



the bridges of madison county
i like the way robert james waller wrote this story -- i almost thought it wasn't fiction... what a profound and haunting love story! the way i see it, it's both simple and complicated. the book depicts the kind of love that i would like to experience and it tells the kind of story that i don't want to happen to me. it's so wonderful, it's heartbreaking...


quote: "Though neither of us was aware of the other before we met, there was a kind of mindless certainty humming blithely along beneath our ignorance that ensured we would come together."


tuesdays with morrie
this must-read book is mitch albom's "thesis" with his mentor, morrie schwartz. to say that it is a nice book is an understatement.


quote: "The truth is, when our mothers held us, rocked us, stroked our heads -- none of us ever got enough of that. We all yearn in some way to return to those days when we were completely taken care of -- unconditional love, unconditional attention."


the god of small things
reading this novel by arundhati roy is like reading poetry. the author's wonderful word-weaving makes the gloomy story breathe with so much emotion and does things to one's imagination. the book is peppered with local colors and unusual but heart-tugging phrases like "she closed her face like a cupboard". the reading experience with the god of small things is like feeling a song and a lot more.


quote: "Do you know what happens when you hurt people? When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That's what careless words do... they make people love you a little less."


cryptonomicon
this is a book that probably has everything in it -- it's a quite long entertaining read. if you like diving into geek stuff, world war stories, code generation and code breaking, cybertechnology, brilliant minds and personalities and you like to read about philippines and the asia pacific and the world in general, this book is for you!


quote: "...the real gold is here--" he points to his head "--in the intelligence of the people, and here--" he holds out his hands "--in the work that they do. Getting rid of our gold was the best thing that ever happened to Nippon. It made us rich. Receiving that gold was the worst thing that happened to the Philippines. It made them poor."


Thursday, June 09, 2005

books (part 1)

A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face.
It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy.

--Edward P. Morgan


this post is all about books...

...because i read a lot...
...because i learn a lot from reading...
...because i love reading...



the alchemist
i like this book for two reasons: (1) it is an easy read. (2) there are a lot of quotable inspirational words from this modern classic by paulo coelho.


quote: "wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure."


hope for the flowers
i find this illustrated book by trina paulus very, very inspiring. i've read it too many times already and i still want to read it over and over again. the story is simple and cute -- it's a very easy read with profound impact.


quote: "you'll be a beautiful butterfly -- we're all waiting for you!"


the twelfth angel
among the books of og mandino, this one is my favorite. the story's so touching, i cried buckets while reading. everytime i feel like giving up, i only have to remind myself of how this book moved me and i'm back to "fighting form".


quote: "never, never, never, never, never give up."


jonathan livingston seagull
this one is another very inspiring easy read and is a must-read spiritual classic from richard bach. mention the name jonathan to me and the first that comes to mind is a determined extraordinary seagull.


quote: "don't believe what your eyes are telling you. all they show is limitation. look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you'll see the way to fly."


the little prince
an easy read with nice story, cute illustrations and a haunting ending. antoine de saint exupery wrote it well. drawings of boa constrictors from the inside and the outside, baobabs, multiple sunsets and multiple sunrises experience, stars!!! it's no wonder i adore this book.


quote: "all men have the stars... but they are not the same things for different people. for some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. for others they are no more than little lights in the sky. for others, who are scholars, they are problems. for my businessman they were wealth. but all these stars are silent. you -- you alone -- will have the stars as no one else has them--"


forrest gump*
this is a very funny, witty (or should i say "halfwit-ty"?) and insightful read from winston groom. it had me laughing and it had me crying. it made me feel human.


quote: "bein' an idiot is no box of chocolates."


*the book is better than the movie.

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