"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

anything goes

after "jap-nese," it's time for "chi-nese":

That's not right. -- Sum ting wong
Are you harbouring a fugitive? -- Hu yu hai ding
See me ASAP. -- Kum hia
Stupid Man -- Dum fuk
Small Horse -- Tai ni po ni
Did you go to the beach? -- Wai yu so tan
I bumped the coffee table. -- Ai bang mai fa kin ni
I think you need a face lift. -- Chin tu fat.
It's very dark in here. -- Wai so dim
I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai yu mun ching
This is a tow away zone. -- No pah king
Our meeting is scheduled for next week. -- Wai yu kum nao
Staying out of sight -- Lei ying lo
He's cleaning his automobile. -- Wa shing ka
Your body odor is offensive. -- Yu stin ki pu
Great! = Fa kin su pah

i ripped this from this blog. (thanks a lot kuya kim for allowing me this repost although we both know that i didn't ask for your permission, wahahaha.)

happy chinese new year, everyone!


dasher vs. accelerator

dasher accelerator
what's your pick: the premiere-dasher or the accelerator?

actually there's no need to choose anymore. my own mother had already put a "death sentence" to my skechers premiere-dasher last december. she made me stop wearing the pair because, according to her, the shoes look so dugyot and worn out already. oh well, i took that dasher picture just last december and my shoe in the pic surely does not have the "worn out" look. maybe i'm just so good at picking the right angle, we all can't see those parts where the shoe fabric's scratched and damaged. still, it makes me wonder how come my mama didn't complain about those "badly beaten" (and, therefore, "worse-looking") shoes i so loved to wear when i was in college? hmmmm... as the saying goes, mothers know best. we may not always understand them, but we just have to listen. so, having faith in my mother's good intentions, i said "R.I.P." to my two-year old dasher pair and went back to manila wearing a trusty pair of brown-colored islander slippers. yes, you can say i extended my sala (living room) from there (iligan) to here (metro manila).

the accelerator wins!

with my dashers being "out of commission" already, i'm currently "abusing" my just-over-a-year-old merrell accelerator pair. i bought 'em accelerators last december 2004 as a birthday-slash-christmas gift for myself. oh, i love 'em! they're still far from being dugyot. ha ha ha!


they're going to bloom...

gardeners have already started tilling the soil to make those stretches of sunflower beds along UP avenue. soon, sunflower plants will be sprouting and there will be people who will mistake them for okra plants (bwahahaha!). then, come april, just in time for the university graduation exercises, people will no longer doubt what they truly are because the sunflowers will bloom.

i truly hope that they will bloom for me, too.



before i left for manila early this year, i was finally able to tell my parents about "my plans after getting my master's". i used to dodge their questions, i used to change the topic whenever they asked. BUT, that day, when they saw me off at the airport, i finally let them know the things i had in mind, "still vague" they may be. i answered their questions, we talked about my options, and, in my own way, i admitted to them my fears. it was cathartic for me.

see, my parents regard me as secretive. they're familiar with my tendency to hold back talking about certain things. they know that i have the tendency to wait for the last crazy minute before i share anything too personal. they know that i don't tell them a lot of things. they know that despite my being such an incessant talker, i still keep a lot to myself. all the time i was telling them "i don't know" they've been patient with me. they waited 'til i was ready to talk. AND that day came...

now, i go about really assured that whatever happens to me and my so-called plans, my family will be with me through and through.


thesis my quest, to follow that star...

whew! i need all the support i can get. just forgive me when i rant. i just need to release my anxiety. i don't wanna be burnt out. i've been munching, trying to eat away my apprehensions. the deadline for our manuscript is on the 21st of february. i'm setting the 14th of february as my personal deadline. geez. i still have so many things to do. please don't forget to check on me from time to time, i need to be reminded to breathe. i need to be distracted. wait, when is the UP fair??? i don't wanna miss it. dapat inyo jud ko ma-B.I.

p.s. ano na ang nangyayari sa only you? musta na si tj? in-love na yata ako sa kanya, waaaaaaaaaaa... dapat sila ni jillian ang magkatuluyan kasi mahal naman nila ang isa't isa -- ang dami lang talaga nilang pa-epek at drama. lasunin na si trixie para wala ng manggugulo, wehehe.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

one super short story and other things


one message received. read now?

click yes. click.

i-dont-know-who: hi. pwd makipgtxtm8?

caterpillar: no.

i-dont-know-who: ok... pwd makipagtxm8 na lang sa 1 of ur txtm8s?

caterpillar: kapal mo.

i-dont-know who: i knw...thanks 4 ur tym. cge bye.

end of story.

i like those red shoes worn by manny pacquiao during his last fight with erik morales.

i shoulda be in puerto galera this weekend with my beautiful gal pals from high school but things for thesis-my-quest are getting in the way. argh, i'm still tempted to get away even for just a day.

my new year, new list has to be amended. the 2006 list should read: (1) do more. (2) eat more. (3) sleep more. (4) drink more (water, that is). (5) paint more. (6) spend more. (7) save more. (8) earn more. he he he.

oh, i've been lacking sleep.

Saturday, January 21, 2006


what do you know? i'm sick. i know it's hot but here i am, wearing a jacket that's zipped up to my neck and i'm tempted to cover my head with the hood because i'm near chilling. shyet! i don't even know what's wrong with me but here i am rambling on as if nothing's really wrong. i try not to think so much, i don't wanna be stressed. ha, as if.

my father's just asked me how i'm doing. being the goody-goody (ahem!) and honest (ahem! ahem!) daughter that i am, i told him about my sick status, of course. i told him about how i had difficulty sleeping last night because i was close to chilling and i was afraid because my roommate wasn't around and no one's looking after me. i did not tell him that i took a bath and reported to the lab early today. ha ha, call me obstinate. i'm obstinate. i just told him that i can get by and that i will be well soon. i said 'keri ra oi'. of course, my news made my mother worry about me. my father sent me a barrage of text messages outlining my dear mama's instructions on what medicines to take, etcetera, etcetera. mama is so high-tech, her idea of "texting" is always through dictation. somebody else always has to key in the message for her. that's why she doesn't have her own celphone. hehehe. oh where was i? oh...

suddenly, the fuss. they reminded me several times what to do and what to buy and not to miss my vitamins. i'm bad, i've been missing my vitamins eventhough my supply is good enough to make me start a mini-pharmacy right here in the dorm, ha ha. i said i'll buy the medicines tomorrow. oh well, i'm not sure. i don't want to take medicines and they know... but then, this time, they expect me to comply because it's for my own good. haaaaaaaaaaay.

my kuya's been informed about my current condition and he expressed his intention to visit me tomorrow just to check on me. i told him not to bother anymore because i'll be okay. i later found out he was bent on coming because my father told him so. i'm sure, my mother told my father so. haaaaaaay, i'm loved. what they don't know is that my brother's not coming to see me tomorrow because i told him not to. he he.

anyway, i checked my stock of vitamins earlier and i found out one sad thing: one full bottle of vitamin b-complex + c expired last september 2005. darnz! one bottle of vitamins gone to waste. how come i overlooked something like that?! the bottle from which i've been drawing out (albeit delinquently) my b-complex tablets has expiry date: april 2006 written on it. ah, at least, that's a consolation.

okay, okay. i'll end here. i don't like this entry but here it is.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

one to twenty

i got tagged by her. i'm supposed to share 20 random facts about me, so here's my list: from one to twenty...

1. i am a southpaw. that means i'm left-handed.

2. my approximate weight is 85 lbs. i am so light. i ought to eat more.

3. i tend to bite my drinking straw. it's something i do unconsciously. i should drink straight from the glass or the bottle -- it's healthier and earth-friendly that way.

4. i eat instant noodles/pancit canton only once in a blue moon. it's not that i don't like it. i'm not allergic to it either.

5. one of my labmates challenged me to gain at least five pounds over the christmas break. we had a bet and i really wanted to win. i lost. she won the bragging rights. she should have just challenged me to lose weight instead. ha ha!

6. to date, i only have two god children. they're both boys.

7. when i was nine, i thought i'd never survive past eighteen. i wasn't sickly so i don't really know why i thought that way. needless to say, the universe proved me wrong. thank God!

8. i stopped biting my nails in 2003.

9. when i eat watermelon, i make it a point to eat the small brown seeds one by one. sometimes, i patiently open each one of them just so i could eat their white parts bare.

10. i could count with my fingers the number of times i go to church to attend mass in a year. i regularly pray though. my family is religious.

11. if there's one thing i don't want to re-live, it's college graduation. gawd, that was the day when my own legs barely supported me.

12. i often think that i haven't really outgrown my stage of 'terrible twos'. until now, i'm so quick at saying 'no' even in times when i should say 'yes'.

13. i have a thin triangular scar on the left side of my face. i have it because i was accidentally hit with the handle of a small guitar by one of my uncles and his cousin when they were horseplaying. i don't think they remember, but i do.

14. i love eating ice cream even when it's so cold outside.

15. there's a reason to believe that my language of distress is english.

16. i can't remember when i last chewed sugarcane. it must be more than ten years ago.

17. i learned how to ride a bike on my own, and i didn't get bruises and scrapes while i was just learning. i got the nasty looking scar on my left knee only years after -- after i fell off the bike one fine day and a sharp stone cut through my skin. major ouch! my fault 'coz i chose a rocky road.

18. i like skittles. they're my favorite candies.

19. canals are really danger zones for me. my clumsiness tends to manifest itself whenever i'm near them. no, i haven't really found myself bathed with canal water... but close...

20. currently, there are only two songs looping in my winamp: kiss from a rose by seal and mig ayesa's version of baby, i love your way. last week was reggae week, maling akala by brownman revival was on repeat mode.

whew! i thought doing this was easy. would you believe? it took me more than a week to complete this list! AND because you read this, you're tagged! ha ha ha!!!

Friday, January 06, 2006

let's paint!

It has been said that art is a tryst,
for in the joy of it maker and beholder meet
--Kojiro Tomita

as i've mentioned before, one of the things that i did on my last day as a 22-year old was to go painting in starmall...

i successfully transformed a pre-designed plaster of paris from its boring white look to definitely something else.

first, my block looked so devoid of colors...

then, colors crept in...

finally, the flowers bloomed!

actually, the people manning the "let's paint" booth didn't think black would make a nice background for the flowers, but i didn't mind them. i knew and had faith in what i wanted so i followed my own heart. in the end, they liked what i did. i liked it, too. i still do.

thanks to my friend, yoni, for taking me there. her own block underwent a similar transformation.

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