"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


"Loving is a lot like watching a twenty-minute fireworks display. Exciting. Emotional. Romantic. Sweet. Memorable.
But it also ends as dramatically as it began and, in the end, all there's left is a starless night..."

-- forwarded text message

so you really fell for him?


are you still or is there a part of you that's still holding on?

"yes... even if i don't want to. sakit sa akong pride but... the answer to that question is a yes."

thank God for friends who dared to be blunt and straightforward. they asked me the right questions so i gave them my most honest answers.

thanks to the bottles of red horse extra strong beer that we had last weekend, too, for failing to do the job of kicking my good senses out of their respective sockets.

what's his name?

"ah, noooooo. i won't tell."

ahm, calixto.! let's call him calixto!

"ngek! hahahaaaaaaa... no, dili calixto iyang name."

so what's his name?

"i'm not going to tell you. i don't think you know him, anyway. basta, dili calixto iyang name."

so there. for all the grilling that they subjected me to, my friends were able to draw out some important answers from me, but not really everything.


awwwww, a few hours after going through that exercise, something sank in: i felt how much i miss him -- my all-time fave crush and sadly, my first heartbreak (ouch! damned life. where's the nearest bridge? hehehe).

so you still like to find out what his name really is?

well, for the record, his name is not calixto. haha...

p.s. if you know his name, sssssssh... respect the secret. :-) by the way, thanks to the following ids99 who showed up for our get-together last weekend: ilian, rowcey, mishay, eldani, jezer and yoni.

it was fun, :-P

Saturday, July 22, 2006

i remember yesterday...

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness..."

-- Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

...the world was so young...

during my last "out-of-town" trip, my friends and i recalled together over dinner the things that we grew up with in the 80's and the early 90's. i've decided to share a list of all that we managed to remember about those good ol' days in this post.

first, allow me to say this: considering that i've already read the "you were a kid in the 80's if..." email, i'm afraid that this post will just be regarded as one of those "gaya-gaya" posts. nevertheless, i'm gonna give this my best shot...

:: jolen, lastiko, and teks (marbles, rubberbands, small game cards) were the "in" things. if you had many of them in your hands and in your pockets (and whatever your storage space was), the better.

:: we played chinese garter by either jumping over it, jumping with it or doing the limbo. the other physical games were terabol slash jumping rope, patintero, bartolata, tumbang-preso, shatong, slipper game, japanese game slash paon-paon slash tag and base, langit-lupa (as in "langit, lupa, saan ka pababa?..."), shake-shake-shampoo, hide and seek, close-up seven up,... ah, too many to mention, really!

:: there was money to gain or lose in those coin games, hantak/taksi, which our parents discouraged us from playing.

:: "game and watch" and brick game were the gadgets for those whose parents could afford

:: pacman, battle city, super mario brothers, and ice breaker were the known computer games

:: we enjoyed magic straps, rainbow springs, and blowing plastic balloons.

:: haw flakes, bazooka joe and the fortune tickets, tarzan, boom-boom lollipops, big boy, cloud 9, big bang, tootsie roll, tabletas (tablet candies), tira-tira, and bobot (with freebie golden rings) were the yummy thingies. remember that "lipstick" came in the form of small red bubble gums? remember that transparent straw with very small spherical colored candies inside it and a flag on its one end?

:: chippy, chiz curls, cheez it, peewee, and richie were the popular junk foods. there were also yellow bags of "people power" curls and letter stickers, mocha pop, and hebe, too!

:: multi-colored suspenders, shoulder pads, curly hair and scary bangs were in. the basketball players had high socks and short shorts!

:: every purchase of colgate and ovaltine meant getting freebies: colgate had those robots which you could transform into alphabets with a few twists and turns, and small colorful tractors, bulldozers and dump trucks were the things to look forward to with every newly opened ovaltine pack. in addition, "pogs" went with coke. there was a "number fever" that became controversial and put a softdrink-bottling company in hot water, too.

:: saksak-puso and the lyrics of monkey, monkey, anabelle (and the likes) are now senseless... but remember the childhood fun they brought us?

remember this? monkey, monkey, anabelle. how many monkey did you see? one. two. three. a-riki-riki-tik and a blue black ship. pick pack boom. yes or no. y. e. s. alis.

how about this? bombero, bombero, may sunog. saan, saan? dapit sa pantalan is number one. one plus one wonderwoman. two plus two lapu-lapu. three plus three christmas tree. four plus four...

...and this? i went to the sea. i'm suma-sa-e. i'm suma-sa-o. alright everybody, tomorrow at the 4 o'clock.

(wahahahaha... my friends and i laughed so hard and went "ano daw??" when we got to this part because we all realized that the lyrics don't make sense.)

:: that's entertainment was still the talk of tinseltown. sheryl cruz-romnick sarmienta, manilyn reynes-janno gibbs and tina paner-chris villanueva were the hot tandems. there was young love, sweet love.

:: ninja turtles were cool and we had our local pandakekoks. we also had voltes v, he-man and the masters of the universe, thunder cats, shaider, and biokids along many others. there were lots of memorable tv commercials, too!

:: movies were mostly watched using the betamax (and the betamax tapes had to be rented).

i'm sure some things got missed out. if you know them, feel free to share (and add) them... that's what the comment box is also for.

post scripts:

(1) the standout recollection for me is "monkey, monkey, anabelle". after all, what in the world is a-riki-riki-tik? the lyrics really make me laugh.

(2) i've already blogged about the movies, dramas-on-radio, and tv shows that defined the 80's and early 90's. the article is here. standout tv commercials got mentioned here.

Saturday, July 15, 2006


"Do or do not. There is no try."
-- Yoda, Jedi Master

very lovely place. very nice company. wonderful interactions. fresh insights. new inspirations. all these add up to what i call a beautiful and productive weekend... in tagaytay.

taal: the volcano in the lake

yes, folks. i had a beautiful tagaytay experience again!

the first time i went to tagaytay and saw taal with my own eyes was in 2002. since then, i've been having tagaytay for free... february 2002. september 2003. october 2004. june 2005. july 2006... different months, year after year, since 2002. the experience has always been beautiful and fruitful. that's something i'm really grateful for.

every year, there are these to look forward to in tagaytay: new activity partners and friends. new bonds. laughters and smiles. renewed hopes.

this year, we welcomed to our fold the thirty latest additions to our group. prior to our time together in tagaytay last july 8-10, 2006, we in the community got ready for our tasks as facilitators through meetings (with eating and badminton sessions, *winks*) and a training workshop.

"before everything else, let there be bonding..."

what we had in tagaytay was a formation program with the latest additions to the group as the key participants and the active members of the community as facilitators.

shared experiencing in tagaytay

so as not to preempt things for those who are yet to undergo the formation program in the coming years, i've carefully chosen the photos that go with this post... the pictures i've chosen may not seem that interesting to you, but you just have to trust when i say that so much fun, so much hope, and so much constructive things (tangibles and intangibles alike) are borne out of the formation program.

the alumni "facis" during some of the program breaktimes

...and there's so much energy, too!

although some of us had to give up other weekend activities and professional fees (and talent fees, too?) for taking time from our respective workplaces, volunteering in the program is worth all the time, hardwork, and effort that we in the community put into it... especially now that we can really see that the group is growing and heading towards the promising direction even through the small steps that we take not just for one, two or three weekends but day after day, year after year.

pooled from all over the country: of different backgrounds, of similar ideals

related story (Philippine Daily Inquirer, 07/11/2006):
.: Group seeks to create new generation of patriots

related sites:
.: TOSP Community
.: Learning, Leading and Serving for Life

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

who's not misunderstood?

"A good pun is its own reword."
--Author Unknown

i am not classy. i am not flashy. to people who are quite clueless of who i am, i am timid. i am dull. i am humorless. i am boring. i sometimes get the impression that people are inclined to believe that i have no right to shine. well, sometimes, i like them to forever think of me that way. i get to think that people who don't right away recognize my worth have no business getting friendly with me. therefore, the little that i have to do with them, the better. so what if they want to believe that i have a pitiful one-tracked mind?

i am misunderstood. i feel i always am. this is why i have the tendency to be ready with explanations for my actions even when i have no wish to explain at all.

from time to time, i express that i don't want to work. i feel people misunderstand every time i say that especially since i don't bother to explain. when i say i don't want to work, this is not to say that i don't value labor. this is not to say that i am lazy. when i say i don't want to work, i mean i don't want to work for the money. i don't want to work to be part of the rat race and i certainly don't want to succumb to work that is routine. i don't want to work and, in the process, compromise those that i hold dear -- no sir, no ma'am, not even if it pays lotsa lotsa money. i hold on to a set of values which i don't want to be rattled by work (and i have my pride, too. *winks*)

just because i can beat the guys at their game(s) and don't buy their pathetic half-hearted advances doesn't mean that i am a manhater. tsk, that's something that i often get accused of. i don't like that but i won't take this time to rat on and on to defend myself. time (yours and mine) must not be wasted.

i misunderstood.

the other day, a mentor told me via email that the scientific paper, which we are co-authors of, finally got accepted in an international publication. i thought he was just being mean and sarcastic because he got tired of waiting for me to turn in the other paper that i was tasked to write. to avoid unnecessary conflict, i did not reply to his email and tried not to think about feeling bad the entire day. i thought i could get away with the bad feeling.

yesterday morning, my adviser talked to me and mentioned the accepted paper. at the back of my mind, i had this thought: "oh, shit. nightmare ito. he's that determined to make me finally turn in my paper, nagsumbong na talaga siya kay sir (my adviser)?" i went honest about it. i told my adviser about the status of my write-up, that i'm confused, that i'm still working things out.

later in the afternoon, i realized i made my adviser confused, if not weirded out by the things i said. the paper i was talking about and the paper he was talking about're two different papers! i was talking about "my guilt and my bane" and he was talking about "my blessing". no wonder he had the look of "huh? what in the world??" written all over his face while we were conversing. he must have thought i've gone bonkers.

haaaay. i clearly misunderstood. woe to me. i secretly (i never told anyone about the email i received, only now) allowed myself to feel bad over something that i should feel proud and happy about.

i feel ashamed for thinking that a mentor was out to make me pay for not yet turning in the other paper. (see what guilt can do! tsk, naulaw jud ko.) even if he's not aware of what i thought when i received his mail, i feel guilty for the way i felt and thought. shame on me. shame on my thoughts.

i misunderstood. i misunderstood.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...