"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Saturday, July 21, 2007

notebook of poems

i couldn't seem to finish the handprint i was trying to paint. my motivation to do so went on vacation, i think.

i'd like to blame those two eeny weeny whitish worms i saw crawling on my ultra-sweet slice of mango for that bit. who knows, maybe i accidentally ingested one of their equally eeny weeny siblings? (yuckkkk. i feel somewhat sick at the mere thought.) i should have been suspicious when i realized that mango tasted way soooo sweet. those worms, although they seemed harmless, must have scared my motivation away.

hence, this. with motivation to finish 'the handprint' out of the window, i decided to work on something else -- something not completely different, but different enough. i did away with the chinese brush and the watercolor tubes and the sketch pad. instead, i gripped some colored pencils and pulled from the shelf my notebook of poems. now, this.

from time to time, i encounter beautiful words and enchanting lines; and i have this habit of compiling them. i write them down in a notebook, the notebook which i call my notebook of poems.

using the colored pencils, i added something to the notebook -- i decorated the pages with my doodles. see?

someday, i'll finish that handprint. for now, i'm happy to have doodled on the pages of my notebook.

note: click on the images to see the hi-res versions. you may also click here to view other pages of the notebook.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

the things that come to mind

"If today's World Stealing Day,
what would you steal from me?"

-- forwarded text message

big. or small. great. u.n.d.e.n.i.a.b.l.y.

rain. i love the rain that we're getting in the afternoons... they make sleeping in oh soooo good.

lollipops. be they as pricey as chupa chups or as affordable as boom boom, i'm glad i can taste them yummy.

colorful socks. others go crazy with shoes. i go crazy with socks.

happy and comfy home life. i have a papa. i have a mama. i have siblings. us. warm. under one roof. so beautifully priceless. undoubtedly THE best among my wonderfully cherished treasures.

old glossy magazines. from pages of which i cut interesting and artsy printed stuff.

dvd marathons. either the dvd player gives up... or i do.

mata sa abat. one of my cousin b-boy's amusing toddler antics. watching videos of him doing it never fails to make me giggle -- more than watching R2-D2 go smoking and a-blinking (or yoda a-fighting or captain jack sparrow a-mumbling) does.

good reads. i love them. always.

text messages. just keep them coming...

papemelroti scrapbook. my p6peeps friends' 2003 birthday gift to me which, after almost 3 years of being merely stored, i've finally put to good use... for -- what else, but -- scrapbooking!

blogging and netsurfing. to keep them off this list would be hypocrisy.

needlework. gotta give in to the tree-hugger in me. i gotta finish stitching my tree.

harry potter. new movie and last book. woohoo, july double whammy.

those who make me feel so missed. yey, i do matter! :P sometimes, i don't mind being nagged. or pestered.

cloud 9. while others would not settle for anything less than toblerone or cadbury, i'm gleeful with my cloudy bars. in fact, i'm okay with just one.

sketch pad. when words fail me... i draw and play with lines and colors. when creativity spills, why waste it?

ice cream. all-time favorite. for good days and bad days and all days in between.

makulay ang buhay. sa sinabawang gulay. this is probably the most effective lss-inducing output since "people stay...". the think-tanks of this jingle and commercial do deserve to be praised.

photos. visual images of priceless moments frozen in time. portkeys to when intangibles become tangibles.

Sunday, July 08, 2007


her: why are you still watching over me?
him: maybe for the same reason you've been watching me.

so mushy but still... *awwwwwwww*

thoughts. thoughts. why does it take so much for people to openly admit how they really feel? instead of being straightforward, why choose to be subtle and merely say something as 'safe' as "maybe for the same reason you've been watching me" when there's "i do care"?

it's not as if you'll die if you clearly let the other person know. what's so threatening about owning up to your emotions? it won't make you a lesser person.

this little guy is so lucky -- he gets away with his show of unbridled passion and never fails to make me giggle. woot!

p.s. i got those her-him lines from smallville. even superman ain't super when it comes to these things.

Sunday, July 01, 2007


"Come forth into the light of things,
Let nature be your teacher."

-- William Wordsworth

2007 -- yes, this year -- is the year when 1982 babies like me turn 25. while i am still a lot of months away from officially embracing my own "25-ness," i can't help but, at this early, share some thoughts that have to do with the quarter year mark. admit it, turning 25 is a time for contemplation.

when i was young, i thought i'd never get to live past the age of 18. i also thought then that those in their 20's were so mature and responsible already. it was difficult to see myself growing into something like them.

the truth is, even at this stage of my life, i think i'll never grow into something like them. i feel like i'm an outsider to my own age group.

while i'm aware that i'm expected to carry out certain responsibilities and behave accordingly, i don't see myself doing things like the rest of the throng does.

i'm wary of following the most convenient, prestigious, "safe", expected, or already laid out path. i have no wish to be led straight to boredom.

i don't want to live a life mostly spent on work and routine, i don't want to be a slave of the world, i don't want to be tied to seemingly important but are in fact inconsequential things and, in the process, put to waste my blessings and forget what it's like to live free-spiritedly.

while i'm willing to let go of my childish tendencies, i cannot see myself giving up my child-like qualities. i want to run around, pursue thrills, feel the wind blowing on my hair, keep being inspired, be forever curious about the things around me, enjoy skipping and hopping, among other things.

i want my life to really count, too, which is why i'm trying to zero-in on the ONE thing i'm meant to do. i maybe enjoying a state of placidness right now -- no biggie responsibilities, no biggie duties, no biggie worries, no energy-zappers -- but i'm also using up this time to think clearly about THE options. it is an apt time to be thinking about such things.

out of the unique paths i can make, i know there's ONE thing out there that i'd like to do and that it's the ONE thing i'm meant to do. BUT i still have to figure out what it is.

no doubt, i have questions -- too many of them -- but i'm not about to stress myself just so i could get the answers right here, right now. i believe rilke put it well when he wrote, "Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

yes. there's no rush. nowhere is it said to waste life by being complacent either. the important thing is to LIVE and, by so doing, find THE answer.

turning 25 is a time for contemplation. it is also a time for celebration.

p.s. two of my closest friends (cinema buddy and travel buddy) are turning 25 this month and i feel like i'm turning 25 with them -- mainly because, like me, they're too young to be 25. ;-)

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