"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Thursday, November 27, 2008

taking notes and sharing them

the long and short story of this is: we have corporate bible study -- initiated by no less than the company president -- not to make us religious (nor to convert us into a new religion) but to help us make our lives better and understand how we can have prosperity in all things.

for weeks already, the main topic has been "the power of words". i am learning from the sessions and i try to apply the things i've learned (and re-learned) so far in my life. i am ever careful with the words i utter now. no more cuss words. no more negative declarations about my life or anyone's either. i do not get to say stuff like "i'm depressed", "i'm sad", "cursed" or "malas" when i find myself in unwanted circumstances. (and at times i falter -- as change does not completely happen overnight, i gently bite my tongue, say a positive thing -- without resorting to lying, and remind myself that i'm supposed to be nurturing a good habit).

i usually jot down notes whenever i can. let me share what i have so far in the trusty colorful notebook which i chose to write in during sessions...

It is written in Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the thoughts I have towards you, thoughts of good and peace to give you a hope and a future."

Find a verse applicable to your situation and remind God about it. Pray standing on God's word. Stand on God's promises.

Know what your rights are. You have God-given authority. Use God's word to attack your Goliaths.

God does not save by shield and sword. God's word will accomplish the purpose for what it was spoken.

Galatians 6:9: "Do not grow weary in doing good." At the proper time, reap a good harvest. Learn to perform consistently, even if it means performing out of the limelight. Persevere.

Do a little good here and do a little good there. Then, become big here and become big there. Demonstrate patience and success follows.

The Law of Confession: "By your words, that is what is going to happen in your life." What you say is what you will see in your life. Watch your words. Avoid the storm. Do not bring your life to the middle of the storm.

Stop talking devil talk. If you can't help it, zip it.

Proverbs 18:21: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." You have access to power. You can change the direction of your life by the power of your words.

Words are the keys that open the doors to God's blessings.

Deuteronomy 30:19: "I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing, therefore choose life..." Choose life -- abundant life! Choose restoration. Choose freedom. Open the door to prosperity in all things -- get all slices of the pizza of life, not just one or two.

"I am very blessed, highly favored, and deeply loved."

Think about this: Living under grace vs. living under the law.

How many of you (who have children) would be willing to sacrifice your own child to save someone else's life?

The Blessing brings in the blessings in to your life. Accept the Blessing.

Learn to thank.

"Write the vision down and it will happen. If it tarries, wait. It will surely happen."

Faith speaks.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

sori naman

"Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap."
--Robert Fulghum

while i was deep into troubleshooting an unwanted circumstance involving my latest machine, my company-issued mobile phone beeped.

unknown number: bakit ##k ang sweldo mo?
ako: hu u? bakit mo minali ang sweldo ko?

even if the sender did not get the figures right, i still found the message irritating. my initial reaction to it was really something to the effect of "anong pakialam mo sa sweldo ko?"

i thought something slipped from the HR which got someone thinking and which resulted to that message.

unknown number: ay, na-wrong send lang po.
ako: hindi ka dapat nakikialam sa sweldo ng ibang tao, kahit kaano ano mo pa yan.

i know i should have let things go when the sender offered the information that the message was not intended for me. however, something in my boiling head (what's up, temper? hehe) pushed me to key in an unsolicited advice. i am not one to discuss about salaries -- whether mine or other people's. the least i know about how much the people around me are actually earning, the better for my peace of mind (and, maybe, for my level of confidence).

the reply i got after that was something to the effect of... (i cannot write down the exact text message i received because i already deleted it but i'll share what i can remember)

unknown number: alam mo ba sinasabi mo? asawa ako ni ____ _____ ka-trabaho mo ngaun ako nagb-budget para sa pamilya namin at ako din naglalabas nun sa ATM di ko kelangan ang unsolicited advice. WAG MO KO 22RUAN KUNG ANO DAPAT KO GAWIN. I KNOW MY RYT AS A WIFE (a lot of words here which i cannot recall anymore because i did not really read this part of the message which was keyed in using capital letters) NAIINTINDIHAN MO BA AKO KUNG GUSTO MO, PWD MO AKO TAWAGAN.

i did not make the call. i know how some wives can get praning when they get to find out that their husbands' colleagues at work are female -- regardless of physical appearance or whatever. i figured there was no need to disclose my identity nor my gender. my officemate's wife does not know who i am because the company number assigned to me was registered in her phone as her husband's. sometime after i got back from korea, my officemate had to bring my company line to his trip to japan -- hence, the reason why her wife mistakenly sent a message to me.

ako: sori naman. peace na tayo.

deadma. that's what i got.

what happened had me laughing. i was really able to sense the difference in my mood levels right after i received the first message and when i got that super-long reply. one moment i was so irritated, the next moment i was sincerely apologetic.

after sharing the incident with the rest of the team (which included the sender's husband) and after us sharing amused laughter over the consequences of my 'yet-another-temper-driven-judgment lapse,' i keyed in another message.

ako: i'm really sorry for what transpired earlier. i learned a good insight from you today. peace.

today, after giving in to the ill dictates of my temper, i was suddenly being unusually so kind.

i come from a household where my father does the budgeting -- as the family's breadwinner, he's the one who allocates the financial resources -- and my mother does second-degree/second-level budgeting of the allowance she gets from my father for her and their kids' emergency expenses.

i understand that for other households, the wives are the ones who get to hold the ATM card and that they are the ones who guard the family's finances.

doon pa rin ako sa walang pakialamanan ng sweldo (lalo na pagdating sa sweldo ko).

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

please try again

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

our company's biometric system seldom fails in not recognizing me. my officemates go through it with a green light matched with a 'thank you' while i usually get the red light matched with 'please try again.' it's always been just me since the start.

during our enrollment to the system, it took awhile before the biometric print collector could successfully add me. my work buddies didn't have a hard time. one try and they got in. i was altogether a different case. my right thumb failed. my left thumb failed. my index fingers failed. my middle fingers failed. my ring fingers failed. even my pinkies failed. although i was quite annoyed by all the hassle that i had to go through, my officemates and i found reasons to be amused about it. (read: guess, who's the alien?) only out of determination and patience and after several attempts did my right thumb and left thumb finally register. for good measure, my left index finger was enrolled as well.

every time i get the red blinking light, i mutter a 'not again,' take a look at my fingers, and wonder what's wrong. my fingers look like fingers should (and with distinct fingerprints) so why is the sensor being so discriminating? of course, that's what sensors are for but, i mean, why just me?

maybe it's one of the universe's little ways of helping me grow with patience. or maybe i'm really an alien.

could be both.

no, don't ask me from what planet i came from -- i'd still say earth.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

meet calamansi

"It's a question of discipline," the little prince told me later on. "When you've finished washing and dressing each morning,
you must tend your planet."

--Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

for over four months now, i've been taking care of two plants. i saved them from the bouquet of flowers my housemate and i brought home from our company's inauguration. when the flowers started to wilt and were about to be thrown, i separated two leafy stalks from the flower basket and, then, assigned a recycled sola iced tea bottle filled with tap water to each. the sola iced tea bottles were the ones i saved from my yellow cab affairs. i don't even know the real name of the plants. all i know is that they look like chinese bamboo and i had faith they would survive in water. they did! in just a matter of days, each of them sprouted confusing networks of roots. they survived typhoon frank, too.

my housemate baptised them with names we could both relate to and laugh over. they have been thriving in water -- both plants have grown longer and had shown more leaves -- since i started looking after them back in june. they're living just in front of our terrace, a prime spot for getting their dose of sunlight. in more than two occasions, i planned of buying them clay pots and transferring them to good soil but i never got around to executing the plan. to compensate for that, i diligently change their water homes every week or two to save them from the competition posed by moss and lichens and to discourage mosquitos from laying eggs inside the bottles.

i thought the third plant that i would care for here in batangas would come from one of the two. i intended to cut the longer plant and, with that, add one more bottle in front of our terrace. however, before i could carry out that simple operation, calamansi came along.

last october 29, 2008 -- wednesday -- during a lunch-out with our boss, my housemate and i fell in love with the calamansi plant we saw being sold for 85 pesos just outside the resto. there were several of them waiting for new homes and new owners but we chose this one that stood out.

meet calamansi

what's nice about it? at its petite stature, it already has fruits -- five of them!

calamansi is my new baby. it sits on our terrace -- a welcoming ornament -- like a favoured plant should. soon, calamansi will have a large clay pot for a new home.

with all that said, i'd like to remind my friends of the gifts of cacti i've been waiting for since november-december of 2007. hmmm... ;-)

p.s. october 29, 2008 was the day before i was to celebrate my year 1 with the company i am currently affiliated with and calamansi is actually my anniversary gift to myself. c",)
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