"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Monday, March 23, 2009

lolo gary

lolo gary lived strong and healthy enough to have ten children. he sent all ten to college through honest-to-goodness hardwork (read: hands-on farming and fishing) and God's grace. all ten learned his way of life, earned their respective degrees, got married, and reared kids.

lolo gary lived long enough to see the kids of his four sons and six daughters grow up. he met 31 grandchildren and 15 great grandchildren.

he left all ten, thirty, fifteen, and who-else-knows-how-many a legacy of inspiration.

there is so much to tell about my lolo gary and how he triumphed in life despite the circumstances. from now on, i shall take time to pause from life's hustle-bustle and weave the words into one family tapestry. if i do remain diligent enough, i'll have enough material by year-end and i'll be able to come up with that book i've dreamt of writing.

until recently, i didn't realize that the elusive story i've been waiting for has long been there for me.

family tree done by my younger sisters and my cousin

Thursday, March 12, 2009

peeking into my notebook

"when you walk righteously, favors overtake you"

lay aside weights. concentrate on endurance -- do not be hindered; stay on course. when in doubt, ask. live a heritage, leave a legacy. servitude - serving others even when it's inconvenient. when you walk righteously, favors overtake you. everyday is sweeter than the day before. check your heart, stop worrying. what can be offered from an empty hand? you doubt those who have given you reason that they cannot be relied on. keeping silent is not necessarily being truthful. a spoken word is a commitment. have the right attitude -- it dictates how we deal with other people. strife is a blessing-blocker. whatever is the major cause of your busy-ness is your business. integrity is forged in defining moments. perform with excellence, energy, enthusiasm, ethics, effectivity, and endurance. always see the hand behind the event. speak life. get your but's out of your way. whatever is in your heart, believe it, declare it, speak life to it, and watch it manifest.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

spell kaleidoscope

"I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.
I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him."

--Abraham Lincoln


i know i am a fan of kaleidoscope world. i know i like listening to girl be mine. i know i was one of those kids who learned the lyrics of mga kababayan and who eventually grew up to a thousand other songs but never reached the point of forgetting how that nationalistic rap goes. i personally witnessed his ability to work the crowd when i saw him perform in one of those UP fair nights back in 2006. however, i did not realize until yesterday that, to a good degree, i actually am a fan of francis m.

despite knowing already that he was in a tough battle and not in great health, my reaction to news of his death yesterday was similar to my reaction when i learned of christopher reeve's demise -- disbelief. "huh? is that true?"

it is like that when it comes to legends. it is difficult to associate death with them.

Monday, March 02, 2009


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."

-- Jeremiah 29:11


it is difficult to stay cheerful when the daunting challenges never seem to let up.

it's already been quite a long, hard pull and i have yet to see the end of it -- or, at least, see a silver lining. i know i have to stay focused but i feel too overwhelmed at times. my impatience bites.

it is in times like this that i become all the more convinced that if i were to rely only on my plans and on my own strength, i won't be able to achieve much.

i close my eyes in submission and calmness embraces me. as the sands of time trickle, i remain in good hands. i am grateful that i am still too blessed. for this, i cannot complain.
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