"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Saturday, September 25, 2004

seeing through naked eyes

my life, it seems, is literally a blur. it's not just when i wake up in the mornings, or when i go to bed at night. it happens every time i go about with my eyes unaided.

like some people i know, i am nearsighted.

20-20 vision left me during the early part of my freshman year in high school. that... i was aware of. however, i was such an obstinate being (i still am, by the way): i opted to live through high school with deteriorating eyesight. it was only during my freshman year in college that i had my eyes checked by a specialist. by then, my vision was already soooooooo poor: the left eye registered a -475 while the right registered a -50. ngerkz! what an imbalance!!! after the first trip to the eye doctor, i had to wear eyeglasses and adapted to living with the hassle of always keeping them with me, or see things blurred. now, my left eye still registers a -475 and the right registers -175. i've resorted to wearing contact lenses, but i still have a trusty pair of eyeglasses for emergencies and the like. sure they make me see better, but they never allow me to see with 20-20 vision clarity...only in my nice dreams.

...and the reason for this blog?

last september 22, my roommate and i went out to eat at mcdo philcoa because i was craving for a sundae (i told you i currently have an unexplained hunger/eating streak, which will never make me fat, anyway...pfft). we were already outside the dorm when i realized that, for the first time in i-already-lost-count days, i was going out without putting my contact lenses nor my eyeglasses on. i gazed up and saw the night sky with the stars in petty blur. i looked at the nearby street lights and all of them were badly out of focus. everything at a distance seemed to be fuzzy. squinting didn't help much, so i had to rely on weng (the roommate) to hail the right jeepney that would take us to philcoa. the blurred images that night made me feel sad.

to say the least, i can't help but be sad. i realized it has really become difficult for me to see the world clearly through my naked eyes. i miss 20-20 vision. i no longer remember how it feels to see with such clarity. buti pa kayo.

p.s. (1) yesterday, my second to the last pair of contacts got torn. it puzzles me how those plastics got torn because i've been extra careful with them. but then... now, i'm down to my last pair. that means: today, i need to visit the optical clinic again. oh well. that's just okay, i need to have my eyes checked again, anyway. (2) i lost the original draft of this post after my browser reported illegal operation(ba't hindi man lang ako binigyan ng time na maka-save?). pfft. what you're reading now is just a lame attempt at recovering the lost information. (3) thank you sealdi for the macapuno balls. touched kaayo ko. (hala, lata^!). i'm already sorely tempted to take you out of the list (*winks*).


  1. i used to wear glasses, too. there was a time i was just so dependent on them. i really thought i couldn't survive without them, then my brother accidentally broke my eyglasses, so i had to survive without them for a while. i was too lazy or too busy to go to the eye doctor (which was in iligan). but, by some miracle, until now i've never used glasses. i son't have 20-20 vision, but i have better vision than when i was sooo dependent on my freakin' eyeglasses.

    originally posted on 09.25.04 - 5:01 am using Haloscan comment board

  2. buti ka pa, well-adjusted na eyesight mo sa mundo. ako...waaaaaaaaah.

    okay. i'll stop right there. hehehe.

    originally posted on 09.26.04 - 1:11 am using Haloscan comment board


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