"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Sunday, February 20, 2005

stalk talk

"In God we trust, all others we virus scan."
--Author Unknown

i don't know what's with some people.

just recently, i chanced upon the friendster profile of one of those connected to me and found out something which made my blood run cold: three of the five photos he posted were pictures of me! more than that, i don't have softcopies of those pics... but he has. he has! putik. whatever gave him the right to post those pics (my solo pics!) in his account? paksyet. paksyet talaga. they are not his and he definitely has no right... no right at all to make people think that we are close or that i am his or that we are an item. i don't even know him personally! we are far from being good friends, and i don't remember ever talking to him.

you might think that i'm just being so paranoid and all. maybe. i'd rather you tell me that after you've gone through everything that's written here...


shortly after i got out of college, i got a call from someone whose number is not registered in my phonebook. i answered the call but no one was talking on the other end, so i cut the call. then came the ringing again. same number. i answered. still, the other end was silent, so i went silent myself and waited for the caller to cut the call. just as i wanted, it ended. then came the ringing again. same number. argh! i received the call but did not say anything. instead i waited for a voice on the other end. moments passed. i heard nothing. then, the call was cut.

i did not know who called, but i have the number. so what did i do? i asked my friend tiff to befriend the owner of the number. tiff pestered whoever was receiving her messages no end until she got the information we wanted. according to whoever received tiff's messages, he was innocent. it was his boardmate who was to blame -- his boardmate who bought a copy of my graduation picture to paste on his bed board. juice mio, how creepy!!! kaya pala di ko mahanap-hanap ang picture ko! had i been a showbiz personality, i could understand the business with my pic... but i'm not. i'm not! plus there's the fact that he got my number!!! how else could that call be made?

creepy to the max!

later on, "the boardmate" used another number to contact me and tried to get friendly with me via sms. i made my replies carefully, my words giving the impression that, had we been talking instead of "texting", i was speaking in clipped tones. all the while, i was asking him to give me my picture because it's not his to keep but mine. days later, he gave me instructions to get a mail from the school's post office, saying it was something he left there for me. paranoid being that i am, i didn't want to get the letter myself. i did not even want to open it. i jokingly told my classmates that it could be a letter bomb and i didn't wish to die so early. still, in their presence, i ended up opening the envelope and there inside was the pic and a letter written in what looked like a parchment paper (in fairness). the letter contained apologies, friendly buzzes, and congratulatory lettering. the content was okay. the content seemed okay... until i reached the back page. waaaaaaaamaaaaaa!! my hands went cold.

"pagkabam...sorry gud!... sorry na gud!"

he used expressions which were then exclusively used by me and my close friends! anyone reading that part would think we're so close. we're not! not in any way!

that's not all there is to it.

at one point, "the boardmate" flooded my phone's inbox when he sent me text messages asking why i didn't inform him that i left iligan and demanding to know why i left. hello??? who is he to be informed?! we're not close. besides, as far as i know, i didn't (and i still don't) owe anyone an explanation.

apart from that, and apart from sending me e-mails, the creep put up a webpage in geocities with two of my pics (which i don't have softcopies of!) on it and lines of my second favorite poem crawling from bottom to top, just like those movie credits. what was weird was that my pics would appear one after the other and then would fade to give way to photos of hermione granger. the background? flash-animated. twinkling stars. paksyet. i want to have that page deleted.

the person probably has a copy of my bio-data. he knows too much, he memorized even my parents' names. waaaaaaaaa. he's a little bit gutsy, too. he called up the house, looked for me and when told that i wasn't in iligan, he attempted to befriend my youngest sister. putik! it's a good thing people in the house aren't too trusting (just like me), so he didn't get much information. it was a blessing in disguise, too, that my subscriber identity module (SIM) was rendered useless when it went loco. in effect, he lost his sms contact with me when i switched to another SIM.

never had i felt too bugged in my whole life! how then can i ever begin to trust people a little bit more?


i thought there was only one person like "the boardmate". i found out quite some time ago that i was wrong.

in the forums board which i used to frequent, somebody had the gall to post my pic without my permission as part of his thread entries, and gave this explanation:

"Look, I'm not trying to piss you off or anything. The picture is good and I want these people here to see it. I'm also not joking about the things I wrote about you."


hello?? i'm not public property. i deserve my privacy, and i certainly don't need publicity.

"I was just wondering, why didn't you like it when I posted your picture..? ..maybe you felt uncomfortable thinking of the fact that other people are keeping your pictures.. You shouldn't..
You should think of it as a compliment..
I have your pictures because I look up to you"

an attempt at flattery, eh? it won't get him anywhere.

i don't fall into the habit of fishing for compliments from people i don't know, and flattery turns me off big time. in fact, i don't end up being flattered; i end up disturbed. people who can't trust me with their identities shouldn't expect me to believe their statements. if i need an esteem boost, i'd rather be affirmed by my closest buddies for they are the ones i trust. besides, when other people who are not close to you keep your pictures without your knowledge (most especially pictures you yourself don't have softcopies of), kabahan ka!!! stalking is stalking, and it's supposed to be illegal.

"We're gonna have an alumni homecoming.. I think it's gonna be between christmas day and new year's day.. I hope you can come so that I can see you and maybe I'm gonna have the courage to approach you and introduce myself.. It will break my heart if you don't come."

i count on my own maybe's but not on other people's, and emotional blackmail seldom works on me. i believe one should never be held guilty of breaking somebody's heart. if somebody's heart gets broken, it's that somebody's fault, not any other person's.

i went to that alumni homecoming because my high school friends and batchmates were there. i made sure no one i never knew from before could ever approach me by choosing to stay near my big and burly former classmates in high school, hahaha! safe.

"about the pictures.. I got them from someone I know.. he says "idol jud nako si (my name here) bai".. see?.. it's not only me.. I was just the only one who is very vocal about you.. daghan mi.."

oh mai. creepy to the infinity.


what these people don't know is that i already had their names and identities checked. they think they've been careful enough not to leave too many traces, but i'm gifted with some "detective skills" and i know how to put them into good use.

call me a stalker stalker. if you stalk me, let me know and get ready to be stalked back. i play fair, you know.

contrary to what some people would like to believe, one cannot find everything wants to find using google alone. it also pays to know the right people in the right places.

what the...? for all i know, they could be reading this blog. hala gudlak.


  1. grabeh, oi... iba ang iyong powers, ni! daghan nabuang nimo.:)

  2. i refuse to think nga nabuang sila tungod nako. i bet buang na sila daan, ako lang dayon ang biktima.

  3. eh katwin...those morons are really creepy...

    pero day...mga efu ba sila?kung efu...sagdi nalang gud...ayaw mo nun naa kay fans club...heheheh:)

    pero, in fairview, gudlak japon...they might be just around the corner staring at ya!...joke joke...

    bitaw bay, pagpraktis na ug martial arts...i suggest you take aikido lessons...or karatedo..taekwondo...whatever...basta take good care of yourself...

  4. bizarre and creepy--are you sure none of these know about your blog?

    It's smart to take these things seriously. Good luck avoiding future episodes with nut jobs.

    originally posted on 02.21.05 - 2:55 am using Haloscan comment board

  5. Blimey! That is disturbing.

    I think that it is only natural for trustworthy people (like most people are) to trust that the information they post about themselves wont be misused, but as you proved, there are some real nutters out there!

    You know my reason for closing my previous blog down. I have certainly become a lot more careful now.

    Good to know that you've got the upper hand though!

    BTW, the cover picture of 'hope for the flowers' is GREAT. It exudes happiness!!
    originally posted on 02.21.05 - 5:58 am using Haloscan comment board

  6. uy! welcome to the club. i have a stalker din. she miscalls me up everyday at 1AM, take note one o' clock in the morning. once i called her up and she answered, she told me she's 22 and her name is... inay! wag ko na lang banggitin. and then later that morning, she asked how i was and if i had breakfast. wow! yaya material.
    but seriously, im not flattered at all.

    originally posted on 02.21.05 - 8:42 am using Haloscan comment board

  7. j., thanks for droppin' by. they could be reading my blog...

    mark, i wasn't into blogging yet when "the boardmate" started stalking and when the webshrine was put up. i could only imagine how they obtained not-so-readily-available information about me. the pics they posted weren't taken from this blog.

    still, i have reasons to be paranoid.

    yes, i like the 'hope for the flowers' cover, too. it looks happy, and it's my favorite yellow!

    tsutsugamushi hahaha. i understand you not being flattered.

    being stalked is not flattering, it's disturbing.

    why can't these people just muster some courage to walk up to you and introduce themselves nicely?

    originally posted on 02.21.05 - 11:47 am using Haloscan comment board

  8. Ngiga jud nimo oi!
    Why can't they be "normal" and intoduce themselves properly?
    It really is so disturbing that some people know so much about u ug ikaw kay wla jud ka hibal-an about them! Freaky!

    originally posted on 02.21.05 - 3:03 pm using Haloscan comment board

  9. The whole stalking thing is scary. I was stalked as a guy in the dorms by some girl that I never dated it was very interesting. Not in a good way.

    originally posted on 02.23.05 - 12:31 am using Haloscan comment board

  10. geez, maybe you're such a hottie val for a stalker! hehehe ....

    tsutsugamushi, grabe 1AM stalker pala yan.... "let's morning the night" stalker ... hehehe ....

    originally posted on 02.23.05 - 2:28 am using Haloscan comment board

  11. if that's so, then, no doubt, he's insane.

    originally posted on 02.23.05 - 9:46 am using Haloscan comment board

  12. trickyboy:
    hehehe! 2 days ng di tumatawag si stalker. peaceful ang mga madaling araw ko.

    originally posted on 02.23.05 - 5:45 pm using Haloscan comment board

  13. sige lang val, lisod gyud nang bam kaayo ta! hehehe.

    tsutsugamushi, sayang at wala nang mystery! hehehe ....

    originally posted on 02.23.05 - 6:36 pm using Haloscan comment board

  14. trickyboy and pipols
    me entry ako about my stalker. i'll post later this afternoon.

    originally posted on 02.24.05 - 10:02 am using Haloscan comment board

  15. hehehe...nag-advertise ba... thanks. oi, bayad mo, nagplug ka na rin lang. (hahaha. joke lang!)

    originally posted on 02.24.05 - 5:19 pm using Haloscan comment board

  16. ergo.. corcordantly.. vis-a-vis..

    originally posted on 03.07.05 - 3:51 pm using Haloscan comment board

  17. i am your stalker....you're not a public property, yet you are acting as if you are a walking public announcement...u r almost making ur blogger like ur personal diary...


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