"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Sunday, February 04, 2007


"Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream --
whatever that dream might be."

--Pearl S. Buck

once there was a heart. it choked. it broke.
once there was a dream. it died.

i once had that heart. i once had that dream.
one broke. one died.

i stepped in too late to save one or both of them.

i now have a new heart. i now have a new dream.
i'm taking good care of them.

the dream, it did not really die.
it only got the fate that befell the heart.

i didn't get a new heart. i didn't come up with a new dream.
i couldn't. my hands're full --

it's like having a new heart, it's like having a new dream
nursing that broken dream that the broken heart still sustains.

about the image: multi-colored sky as viewed from corregidor island's battery grubbs. photo taken by val.


  1. can relate ba? hope ur doing ok!

  2. of course, i'm doing ok. ako pa? hahaha.

    just can't think of anything else to write but that. emotional hang up. pfft.

    i'm making the most of my bum-time. when i'm not sleeping, writing, eating, bloggging, watching local primetime nor reading (what a tall order, haha), i'm boring myself with dvd marathons: band of brothers (done), grey's anatomy [seasons 1 & 2] (done, too), csi: new york [seasons 1-3], desperate housewives [seasons 1-3]. yes, i did say dvd marathons. hihi.

    prison break to follow.

    here's hoping i get to finish 'em all before the call comes. gud lak ah-u, di ba?

  3. someday, i will do at least one of the following:

    (1)in one day, do nothing except watch a sunrise and a sunset or
    (2)devour an entire lechon manok (on my own) or
    (3)bungee jump
    (4)make an incredible poem like the one you did.

    taysa, 'waiting for the call' = 'waiting for the red passport?' ;)

  4. i once set out to devour an entire lechon manok on my own. i was in college then and it was probably one of my crazy days. so i bought the lechon manok...

    ending? taman lang man tingali ko sa drumstick adto kay gisum-uran na dayon ko. reality set in and i just had to admit na that time busawan lang kaayo akong mata! wahaha.

    bungee jump... sa macau! para pang world-record. ;-)

    ei, someday, let's hie off to your CDO's mapawa and macahambus, 'endanger' ourselves a bit by trying the zipline and the 'jump from the bridge'. don't say no.

    if i'll get a passport (and a r-e-d one at that) without ever applying for it, what would that mean? lucky me? weeeeeeeeee.

    'waiting for the call' meant something else.

    i like this post but i don't know if it qualifies as a poem. thanks for saying it's incredible.

  5. i know about your call. mervin cabili told me about it last weekend. :D

    why not? i've been wanting to the jump-over-the-bridge and the zip-line-over-mapawa. i never had the time last year. summer na tingale.

    three things ra man ko this year:
    (1) learn how to swim
    (2) get laid <- ikaw na interpret ani.
    (3) puppy. lab retriever or a poodle kung wa nay la-in

  6. haha, that's no longer the call i'm waiting for due to int'l scale org changes getting in the way.


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