those lines...

...from the two movies i watched yesterday.

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"I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that - at least for ten seconds - and try to dwell in it." -- from the movie, Chasing Amy
-¤-
"If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me."
-- from the movie, The Phantom of the Opera
-¤-
happy valentine's day, everyone!

conversations

"How many times can a man turn his head,
pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
the answer is blowin' in the wind."
-- Bob Dylan's Blowin' in the Wind

last night...

labmate 1: i have a question.
me: o, ano? what's bugging you?
labmate 1:(serious) if i have my teeth cleaned by the dentist tomorrow, can i still eat afterwards?
me: (amused) of course! bakit naman hindi ka na pwedeng kumain?
labmate 2: (chuckling and clearly amused) noooooooooooo... you would have to wait for one week before you can eat again.
labmate 1:(still serious) ha? hindi nga?
me: (really amused and chuckling) well, in that case, make it two weeks. just to be safe.

blame the toxic materials in the lab.

oh, if only having your teeth cleaned by the dentist means you have to forego eating for quite a long time, then diet programs like south beach won't be popular and all those who practice internal medicine would clamor to establish partnerships with the dentists.

-¤-
back in '96...

crush in high school: (smiling while standing) hello, good morning.
me: (walking) ' morning. (at the back of my mind: what's up? why is he talking to me?)
crush in high school: wait. i wanna ask you something.
me: (stopping) shoot.
crush in high school: do you recall the growth rate of the giant kelps found in the californian coast? i need the information.

cool. the hotshot of the science club's asking a mere sophie about kelps. hehe.

me: you mean...(at the back of my mind: kelps??? quick, what are kelps?... ah, kelps!!!) ...those kelps mentioned in the film yesterday?

crush in high school, who's two years ahead of me, replied with a nod and a smile. (haha, he smiled at me.)

me: one foot... feet, no, not feet... one foot per day.
crush in high school: one foot per day?
me: yep. giant kelps. california. one foot per day.
crush in high school:(smiling) thanks.
me: (starting to walk) you're welcome.

yeah... one foot per day. i did not pull that answer from out of the blue to impress crush in high school. giant kelps in the coast of california have an average growth rate of one foot per day. at least that's what i learned from the film.

considering that crush in high school and i never had a significant conversation other than that, maybe i should have said thanks to the californian giant kelps? bwahahaha! how nerdy can people get?

all i can say now is this: regardless of who's asking, a nerdy question deserves a nerdy answer. bow.

-¤-
months ago...

somebody a.k.a. one of those friendly people i refuse to trust: i'm inviting you to a corruption study this saturday at up...blah blah blah (details of the activity)...
me: oh, i have plans of corrupting myself this saturday and sunday, like i always do. that means i can't go. sorry. thanks for inviting me, anyway.
somebody: hahaha! i sense something naughty in that reply.
me: good, it's intentional.

ah, i have my ways of turning people down.

-¤-
many months ago... past 11 o'clock p.m. at philcoa

neat-looking may itsura stranger: are you from the university? you know, the friend you're with...
me: (startled and on alert level #1) huh? what about her?
neat-looking may itsura stranger: she looks familiar.

the friend being referred to? cinema buddy ...but cinema buddy was nowhere near. she was already walking away to go home to a boarding house. i was on my own.

me: (still on alert level #1) huh? oh, really?
neat-looking may itsura stranger: she looks familiar, but i can't quite place her. anyway, you're going back to the campus now?
me: (on alert level #2) oh, really? ...y ...yup, i am.
neat-looking may itsura stranger: by the way, what's your name? your friend really looks familiar.

your friend looks familiar. that's a pick-up line. his pick-up line.

me: (on alert level #3) why do you wanna know? no, i mean, why should i give you my name? i don't even know you.

neat-looking stranger gave me his "name". i wasn't interested so i don't remember what he said his "name" was. BUT for reasons i don't know, i ended up giving him my first name. heck, i even answered his questions regarding my program of study (but i think he believed i was just bluffing, hahaha!) and where i'm staying inside the campus.

i know. i know. for someone on alert level #3.5, what i did was stupid. you don't have to tell me.

neat-looking may itsura stranger: are you sure you already wanna go home? maybe we can talk some more. (indicating the nearby mcdo) maybe eat, too.
me: (with my mind automatically jumping to alert level #10) no. thanks. i really have to go home now. it's late. besides, i'm not hungry.
neat-looking may itsura stranger: are you sure you don't want to eat? my treat.
me: (on red alert) no thanks. (at the back of my mind: putik naman o! mauubos na english ko. ayokong makipagkwentuhan sa 'yo at hindi ako sanay sa libre, may sariling pera ako. bakit ang kulit mo?! sapakin na lang kaya kita? ...pero sa laki mo, hindi kita kaya, sure na. konting pagtitimpi pa.) i said i wanna go home. i just wanna go home.
neat-looking may itsura stranger: well, if you're sure about that, maybe... we'll just see each other around? some other time then?
me: i assure you, i'm sure about wanting to go home. i'm going.

some other time??? may God forbid. tsk. close call. that brought me back to... rule #1: never talk to strangers.

view from the inside

"Our thoughts take the wildest flight; even at the moment when they should arrange themselves in thoughtful order."
-- Lord Byron

the only thing on my wallgreen leaves i drew with oil pastels on a deliberately crumpled
36" x 20" sheet of lemon yellow crepe paper. from a distance, it looks like a printed cloth which badly needs ironing, hahaha!



the only thing on my roommate's wallthis wall used to be filled with posters of smiling people. now, the same wall is adorned by this: my simple housewarming gift to ann, the new roommate.

i bungled on this one though, something went wrong with my strokes and some areas of the paper got torn. observe carefully, maybe you'll see what i mean.

why green leaves on yellow?

blame the caterpillars and blame hope for the flowers! both ann and i love the book. would you believe she also has a copy of that book? ...and we both adore lemon yellow.



3 feet below ann's green leaves...is her bed. leaning on her pillow and relaxing on her bed is cutie feet, her stuffed toy and our official mascot.



3 feet below my own green leaves...is my bed. on it is my fir wood bed tray. this bed is the reason why i'm too lazy to get up.

thanks a lot to cinema buddy for helping me look for the bed sheet. now, i get to sleep on the heavenly bodies, hahaha. i'd like to think i got them all! the moon... the sun... stars... comets... planets...

and on this same bed is where i get to dream the most...



...of this...


...and this.
where else? but the place to be... batanes, philippines.
-¤-
funny. for over a year, people who passed by our door believed this to be true:


the truth: neither weng (my former roommate) nor i ever went to boracay. also, neither of us think of boracay as the ultimate dream destination.

that sign on the door was a result of my laziness to decorate our room for our dorm's open house last year. our wing was assigned to gear up for summer, and we were told to think of our own summer themes for our respective rooms. after vetoing summer blooms and sizzling beach bodies, i settled for summer vacation. that way, i had every excuse to close our door and be somewhere else during open house. (you don't expect residents to be around when they're on vacation, right?) hahaha! clever.

go fast, go slow

i'd like to believe i was born with the thing for speed.

although i don't like it when my bro or my pop drive beyond 60 kph, i dream of being able to drive very, very fast (hahaha! i know i'm being unfair). i often experience adrenaline rush, be it because i'm watching a race, or simply because i'm just thinking of things going on in a flash...

on walking...
compared to most people, my average walking speed is fast and would probably enable me to outpace the slowest runner. it's not just because i currently live in a place where everything seems to be moving so fast. i've always had that walking speed. of course, when people i walk with don't get to enjoy my pace, i end up walking slow... but whether i walk fast or slow, i enjoy walking especially when i get to see natural greens.

on eating and drinking...
i eat fast, too. unlike my cinema buddy who prefers to eat as if she has aaaaaaaalll the time in the world, i prefer making my food disappear right away. same goes for my drinks, be they water, juice, milk, or alcohol. i like to empty the glass (or the bottle) in a single tipping. i only go slow when something disturbs me.

on talking...
i know i could never beat my friend miez when it comes to talking speed, but my pop says i'm one of those people with mouths that have the tendency to go like a loaded machine gun, hahaha! truth be told, i don't do it consciously. most times, i don't get to notice how fast i'm talking until someone tells me to slow down lest i drain all my energy talking.

on typing...
i don't know whether it's a product of too many chat sessions or too many reports, but i know my average typing speed is fast; sometimes, i fear i might end up splitting the keyboard into two. i only go slow when i want to really digest what i'm typing or when something in my brain alerts me of a probable grammatical or logical lapse.

on writing and reading...
i experience moments when i suddenly feel the urge to wield the pen with my left hand and write as if tomorrow never comes. those same moments are when i make my hand race after the seemingly gazillion thoughts a-zooming in my head, and thus the need to write fast lest my thoughts go poof! i don't like it when i write really, really fast though because my usually nice handwriting gets to suffer. i prefer to see my words written neatly and nicely.

as for reading... when left to my own, i could read 3-5 books (from cover to cover) in a single day. i used to really read a lot that i learned to develop my own version of speedreading. these days, i don't get to read books that much (life is cruel! life is cruel!), but when i do read, i have the tendency to read as fast as i could.

there are things that i enjoy doing slow though, and they are:

getting out of bed...
my body clock normally allows me to wake up at 6am, but i don't get out of bed right away. instead, i stay under the sheets for two hours or more, either sleeping some more or simply trying to sleep some more. gone were the days when i would get up right away, almost bouncing off the bed, forcing my body to move. now, when i get up, i do it as lazily as i could, treating the act of leaving the bed as art.

taking a bath...
i used to be able to get myself ready in 15 minutes flat. but now? nah. i revel in taking a bath slowwwwwwwly. there is no way i can be done in 15 minutes.

combing my hair...
i love combing my hair now as much as i like running my hand through it, and i try to do so as slowly as i could because i want to avoid breakage. there's something wrong with my hair's strength. :(

artwork...
when it comes to drawing or painting, i prefer taking my time. doing art is something i really love to do in my own time, without deadlines, without ultimatums. when it comes to artwork, i don't want to be rushed by myself or by anyone.

going through arrays of books at book shops...
a friend once said that i should not be allowed to enter a book shop if time is of essence. going through books really takes up my time, especially since i prefer doing it slow. i could spend hours looking at covers of books, reading gists, scanning pages (if allowed), appreciating titles, thinking of buying... and usually, i end up not buying. i just purposefully spend time with the books, as if they're breathing. hehehe.

-¤-
speed got me when i was just a kid. i wasn't 5 years old then when i got dragged by a fast-moving motorcycle. why? because i thought i could run as fast as the motorcycle!

the story...
a motorcycle was up for sale and my uncle was set to run it for a test drive. my young mind saw that as an opportunity for adventure. the people surrounding me were too busy looking at the motorcycle that they didn't notice that i managed to make my way through them to hold the metal part of the motorcycle's backseat with my hands. they only realized i was there when the motorcycle was already accelerating to top speed, and they saw poor little me almost flying from being dragged. needless to say, it was already too late when i realized my folly, that my little legs couldn't keep up. when i let go of my hold, i ended up hitting the ground so hard, and too shocked to cry at first. i know i gave my parents (and all the people who were there) the shock, too. i remember being immediately brought to the hospital for fear that i broke a bone or badly knocked my head. fortunately, and even though there were tiny pieces of broken glass on the area where i landed, i only got very nasty-looking abrasions on my two knees and some on my hands. for years after that, i sported scars on my knees -- scars that resemble the map of the north and south american continents. to this day, you can still see them on my knees, but you have to look very closely because they've already become very, very faint.

true or false?

"He who knows much about others may be learned, but he who understands himself is more intelligent. He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still."

as a result of answering a forwarded-via-email character test, i got this:


hmmm...

some peeps at p6peeps

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

p6peeps.
circle of 13.
my college barkada.

taoist temple, cebu city
october 2002
from left to right, beginning at the back row, the p6peeps are: micmic, randy, edson, ivan, miezel, anwar, kulit, ducay, naomi, jerk, tiffany, benito and benjie.

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csm, msu-iit, iligan city
october 2001


with p6family, magoong beach resort
february 2002


port area, ozamis city
october 2002


white sand beach, baliangao in zamboanga
(before a side trip to calamba, misamis occidental)
october 2002


csm, msu-iit, iligan city
december 2002


at sea, between lanao del norte and ozamis city
april 2003


oroquieta city
(before a side trip to tangub city)
april 2003


rupagan, bacolod, lanao del norte
april 2003


studio picture, 5 out of 13 reunion
december 2003


butuan city
2004


cagayan de oro city
october 2004


jerk's apartment in iligan, 5 out of 13 reunion version 2
january 2005

p6peeps.
travel-happy.

picture-crazy.

an open letter to haniko plus some plugs

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
-- Henry David Thoreau

you better start walking on that virtual overpass connecting cagayan de oro to philcoa.

we -- volcano, caterpillar and geeemail, collectively known as the thinner trio, are looking forward to seeing you, our beloved thinning master. (yeah baby, 'though you maybe the suffering mad cow, we love your company and miss having you with us. huhuhu. we all need to hear that contagious crazy laugh of yours.) get here fast, so the four of us can compare our wrists once again... and woe to the one with the fattest-looking wrists for she shall end up paying for the yellow cab or tokyo tokyo tab! wahihihi. of course, that would be subject to debate.

by the way, the three of us had our hair cut yesterday. no, we didn't get those bangs like you did. we just merely had our hair trimmed. but then, maybe it would have been so fun had we experimented with the bangs, mwahahaha... but no... and oh, we weren't able to take "before" and "after" pictures. it would have been so cool. blame me! i didn't bring my cam. had i done so, we could have shown you proof that we spent the afternoon so happy together even without you, hahaha... and we'd imagine you doing that dory-like whale talk you're so capable of doing due to envy. now, that's a very amusing thought. mwehehehe.

not only that! you really better start walking on that virtual cagayan de oro-philcoa overpass or you will miss your hubby, takeshi. this wednesday, the film institute will be showing tempting heart a.k.a xin dong starring takeshi. yes miss, your takeshi baby, the takeshi kaneshiro you claimed for yourself. too bad, the gal in the pic is not you! krewl ba? mwahahaha!


p.s. the volcano and the geeemail said you're scrapping the name haniko and are now taking on the name hanimé. whoa. hanimé sounds gay while haniko is funky. but who am i to complain? you can always give in to your other personalities. ayo ayo tomodachi!

-¤-
things to look forward to in february aside from your valentine's day:


february 5, 2005, saturday:
our dorm's open house

all my friends are welcome to invade my turf. just inform me if you're coming so you won't go hungry and so you can enter through the right door. glub. glub. glub.


february 14-19, 2005, monday to saturday:
UP FAIR!

second semester is not complete without the fair!

some of the on-stage performers this year will be 17:28, cambio, urban dub, sandwich, sugarfree, imago, cheese, kamikaze, moonstar88, session road, brownman revival, coffee break island, hale, stonefree, kitchie nadal, 6 cycle mind, p.o.t., rivermaya, spongecola... see posters for more, hahaha! kitakits sa sunken garden.