"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

four the record: a meme

"Do you have to love your job? No. Love your children, your spouse, and your country. Love your parents, your neighbor, and your dog. Loving is too important an emotion to attach to the way you make a living. But it's OK to strive for satisfaction."
-- Reader's Digest Asia, May 2006


i got tagged by bambit, so here's four the record...

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD
1. science research specialist
2. university instructor
3. teaching associate
4. student assistant

wish i could put security guard, circus performer, armored vehicle driver and foreign diplomat to that list.

FOUR MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED OVER AND OVER
1. finding nemo
2. march of the penguins
3. rent
4. pirates of the caribbean

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. diliman, quezon city
2. tambo, iligan city
3. bayug, iligan city
4. pala-o, iligan city

FOUR TV SHOWS I LIKE TO WATCH:
1. prison break
2. CSI and the CSI spawns
3. goong a.k.a princess hours
4. i-witness

FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. tangub city and misamis occidental
2. baguio and benguet
3. davao and samal island
4. iloilo and guimaras

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1. ice cream
2. swake
3. pizza
4. bulad na pusit

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. batanes
2. hundred islands, pangasinan
3. swiss alps, europe
4. antarctica

FOUR PEOPLE WHO WILL ANSWER THIS MEME
1. babypink
2. javamiggs
3. the bread
4. clerihew


about the image: it's a photo i took of the strawberries in la trinidad, benguet on april 30, 2006 using my SE phone.

Monday, April 16, 2007

two sundays

easter sunday | april 8, 2007
cagayan de oro city


two old friends, meet again... wearing older faces...
two old sweethearts fell apart...


the last time they saw each other was about 33 years ago. she was 19. he was around 29. now, she's 52 and he's 62. who would have thought they'd meet again?

my mama recognized her ex-boyfriend the moment she saw him walk into the shop where we were. he was with his family. my mama came up to him and said hi. they talked like good friends. he introduced her to his wife and their 22-year old daughter. my mama and his wife talked as if they're old time pals but it was actually the first time that they saw each other.

33 years! that's quite a long, long time.

again, who would have thought they'd meet again?

i really found it amusing. them introducing their respective families. this is my wife. this is my husband. this is my daughter. these are my daughters. we have two kids, she has an elder brother. we have four kids, they have an elder brother.

so serendipity can really work that way. whew! i wonder if i'd ever get to have that kind of experience in the future.

-¤-

one fine sunday | april 15, 2007
rupagan, bacolod, lanao del norte



the family -- and with family i mean my immediate family plus cousins, uncles, aunties, and family friends -- went to the sea yesterday. it was low tide and it was relatively easy to see the creatures on the seabed. so nanginhas mi. meaning, we looked for clams, seashells, sea urchins, sea cucumbers, lukot, lato, guso/ambalang, etc.

pagpanginhas sa hunasan is one the things that i really missed doing with my family. there was no way i could do it when i was still staying in manila. having been back from my "exile", i told my mama we should do it again and she obliged. the sunday before easter sunday, we already went and, as usual, we enjoyed the experience.

wading through seawater, looking for seafood with your own eyes and hands -- and making your back ache in the process -- is really something. it's not the same as buying seafoods from the market.

it's not easy. the clams hide under the sand and the only clue you'll have that there is a clam hiding down there are tiny twin slits (for binsala and litob) and twin circles (for bug-atan). those with untrained eyes would definitely miss seeing them. the sand and the seaweeds and the sea rocks hide the seashells, the sea urchins, the sea cucumbers, etc. and if you're not careful, you'll hurt yourself. worse, you might just encounter a seasnake!!!

but it's fun. it's definitely fun. especially when you're doing it with your family. plus, nothing beats the taste of seafood kinilaw when prepared and eaten right there sa hunasan -- exposed seabed.

having been born into a close-knit family where pagpanginhas is part of our way of life is one of the things that i'm really thankful for. i know that not a lot of people my age get to experience something like it. i feel that my cousins and i are very privileged.

pagpanginhas sa hunasan. one of my treasured pastimes. yesterday, the family did it again! and we're doing it again on the 28th!!! oh yeah.

the experience yesterday was fun quadrupled because while we were still out there sa hunasan, the rain began to pour. at first, it was just raining in trickles. then, it eventually poured so heavily. we all got so wet!! normally, we'd only be wet up to our knees but because of the rain, we got wet all over. by the time we returned from the sea, there was no way we could just get into the family vehicles and make the 45-minute travel that would take us back to iligan. we had to go 1km uphill first, back to where my grandparents' house is, to LOOK for dry clothes...

uphill, we hiked as the rain continued to pour oh so heavily. through muddy terrain we made our way back to my grandparents' house. my mamang. my papang. my sisters. my cousins. my uncles. my aunties. our family friends. we were wet, shivering from the cold, and happy. it was the first time that ALL of us got so drenched with rain. what a very, very fun family experience!!!

we didn't foresee getting drenched. it was unplanned. but we had so much fun!

weeeeeeeeeeeee... i got to play in the rain again.


about the image: no, we don't harvest starfish! the picture which accompanies this post was taken in samal island on october 28, 2006.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

shower of light


"Does money really buy happiness? No. Because happiness
is not for sale. When it comes to happiness, only people
you love, and who love you, can bring it. If you have
enough dough to buy yourself a luxurious yacht, but no
real friends to sail with, you're sunk."

-- Reader's Digest Asia, May 2006



you're timeless, i'm time-bound -- i could never win if i competed against you...

you and your endless journey and your different colors,
you and your lure and the thousand and one stories you write across the skies,
you who don't always look happy, but always fascinating, always beautiful.

i've gone from here to there, lived through then, now, and tomorrow just by watching you.

you are probably the first real thing i ever saw.

you do spectacular battles against impending darkness,
you quash the creeping gloom with a burst of life,
you hold me in awe and you are what i want to be...

because you remain luminous... in hues of yellow, orange, and red and blue and green and hints of them

because you remain boundless, always sowing inspiration, always reaping every fighting chance.

because you give me something and something more,
i'll try and i'll keep trying, anyway.


about the image: it's somewhere just off manila bay. the photograph was taken by jr3 while on board the boat, st. joseph the worker (bound for iloilo), on october 24, 2005.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

challenge: reveal the hidden message

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction."
--E.F. Schumacher


it's meant to be cracked.

hint: it's in english!

top layer: 15 3 26 26 12 8 25 26 25 8 25 12 21 15 26 21 13 25 10 13 10 4 7 7 20 7 21 25 7 10 15 4 15 15 22 13 10 2 7 10 2 10 23 21 1 12 9 2 11 12 13 10 26 18 18 13 12 1 26 25 2 13 16

bottom layer: 25 13 8 3 7 15 23 25 7 15 10 22 7 25 21 12 15 11 12 7 14 8 23 7 3 21 7 3 15 10 23 21 3 12 12 15 3 5 15 25 12 15 4 7 14 15 22 14 2 12 15 9 8 2 18 26 26 8 15 22 14 26 7

here's the surefire way to decipher this...
divide and conquer. mark all the up's-and-down's. be number-free. always choose right. be willing to go through all the up's-and-down's. simplicity is key. feel good. share.

the solution guide sounds like unsolicited advice on how to go through life, huh?

pen and paper would be useful, too.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

what do you collect?

"Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?"

-- The Little Mermaid

i collect...

books. i love books. i adore good reads. i collect them. i like owning them. i check out book shops even in unlikely nooks and corners just to find the books i want to add to my collection. it's my dream to have my own library. i already have a mini one. i have 200+ books to date and i'm still keen on acquiring more.


piled up to the ceiling: how come there's no more space?

lest you think i only stack 'em up for mere display, let me say for the record that i do read them. see, i like reading. no, not like, love. i love reading. i can forego eating, drinking water, sleeping, and going to the cr when i'm soooo into finishing a good read. i can be so obsessive when it comes to reading and books. i sometimes think that it's not me who owns my books. it's probably the other way around -- my books own me.

i intend to add more comic books to my collection. i dig those works by filipino graphic book artists. i also want to own those pcij books, too... and more of calvin and hobbes!!!

movies.


they all come with stickers. they're not pirated.

postage stamps. during my elementary years, i was into philately -- collecting stamps. aside from reading, collecting stamps was my way of discovering and appreciating other countries.


i only managed to put a few of them in an album. most of them stamps i kept in envelopes and i still have to mount them. now, there's something for my to do list. i have to keep that in mind.

i re-discovered my old stamp collection two weeks ago while i was looking for my 'still-missing-in-action' unicorn cross-stitch pattern.

stationery. i've been collecting stationery since grade school. scented ones, colorful ones, simple ones, small ones, big ones, medium-sized ones, those with people and those without, nicely illustrated ones... i have them in various colors, shapes and sizes. i also have a collection of hotel stationery. i keep a lot of them in a stationery holder i designed myself. some of them i already transferred to a clear book for easy viewing.


some of the sheets in this collection are more than 15 years old

even back then, i knew i won't be writing on them. i only wanted to collect them... and the ones i have in duplicate, i'd be willing to trade with what other stationery collectors have in duplicate -- just like what we girls used to do in grade school.

key holders. i dig key holders but since i don't have many keys to call my own, i don't usually use most of them. i simply collect them. sometimes, i use them to adorn my bags... but most times, they're just hidden somewhere. i treasure them because a lot of them are gifts/pasalubong from my friends.


key holders minus the keys

when i left home for my graduate studies, my younger sisters didn't know what to do with the pile of key holders i left behind so they pushed pins on the wooden panel in the girls' room and displayed them there.

the ones that are still inside the packs are reserved for future cars, future houses, and future whatever. hehe.

stickers. a lot of the stickers in my collection date back to my elementary years and were given to me by my classmates and friends.


what will i do with them? just keep them.


trinkets. dangling earrings and hoop earrings. chokers. necklaces with weird-looking pendants. bracelets and bands. hair accessories. i have those.

the dangling and hoop earrings? i won't survive wearing them. i simply collect them. no, i'd like to think that i buy them para pang-asar, as one of my friends put it. i prefer wearing simple studs.

candy wrappers. back in college, one of my classmates kept lots of coins in his backpack's pocket. his bag was always heavy but it was never because of books. it was always because of his coins. as for me, i kept lots of candy wrappers in my backpack's pocket. they weren't heavy to carry around but they were really many. kanya-kanyang ka-weirdo-han.

...and you know what? it's been four years since i left college but the said candy wrappers have not found their way to any of the trash bins yet.

yes, the candy wrappers are still with me. no, not really. they're inside one of the bags i no longer use. i put them there because, while i no longer want to carry them around, i don't want to really part with them yet. memories, you know. i figure i'll make a throw pillow and stuff them candy wrappers in it.

aha, another addition to my to do list.

i also collect unused disposable table napkins from food shops and restos (i usually make my friends sign them -- the disposable table napkins, not the shops/restos), letters and greeting cards (even those from people i don't like), travel brochures (for scrapbooking purposes and future travels), quotes (why do you think i keep posting quotes?), travel tickets (for scrapbooking purposes, too), gift wrappers, art materials (i pile 'em up first before i put my heart into using them), souvenir shirts (wherever i go, i have to have a shirt from that place), movie/concert tickets (that is if they find their way back into my hands), coins, event IDs/name tags, and colorful socks.

i collect nothing and everything. teddy bears, too.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

ditucalan

"We must remain as close to the flowers, the grass, and the butterflies as the child is who is not yet so much taller than they are... Whoever would partake of all good things must understand how to be small at times."
--Friedrich Nietzsche


remember high school? it was fun!


sometime in march 1999, we went to ditucalan for choir practice. what choir practice? we went to a place where the roads were good for biking and the playground had swings, see-saws, slides, and nice green grass. the day was meant for having fun and the place was right. yoni climbed up a slide and took this picture of us -- rho99 during a pre-graduation class bonding... in ditucalan.

despite its distance from the city proper of iligan, ids99's sci-curr people loved having practice sessions (for basketball, for filipino drama, etc.) in ditucalan. not only did we find the place nice and conducive for spur-of-the-moment adventures, our classmates from there're also very hospitable. heehee.


note: the picture above reminds me of the importance of tripods and self-timers. without them, someone has to sacrifice not being in the group pic. most of the time, that someone is the owner of the camera.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

be silent, be still

"He should've said goodbye before he left"
-- from the K-series, Full House


you tenacious little fighter, you have to stop being difficult. otherwise, this just might be where we part ways.

do not ask me for him anymore. i've done more than enough to help your cause. i already let you have your way. do not ask me to do more.

you are one great heart but he doesn't feel you.

the sooner you believe that and the sooner you accept that you will never ever be his priority, the better for my sanity you will be.

hu-whaaat?

argh. kakasabi ko lang na tumigil ka na. gud lak na lang sa 'yo.

FOR SALE: one foolish heart. too tenacious for my own good.

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