"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Sunday, May 28, 2006

gratitude

today, caterpillar talk is officially two years old. thank you readers for all the comments and for the interactions (virtual and otherwise). you make blogging fun and rewarding.

smorgasbord: some selected lines...

may 2004: what i really long for right now is a lengthy and meaty conversation, and not this task of typing down words as if i’m talking to the monitor.

june 2004: this attempt at blogging is doing wonders for me. i’m beginning to understand a little bit (according to my own reckoning) of html coding. yehey! i’m learning!

july 2004: my mind is old, but my senses are young...

august 2004: letting go is more painful yet more rewarding than holding on.

september 2004: my life, it seems, is literally a blur.

october 2004: i don’t like airports!!! they always make me feel miserable.

november 2004: i’ll not lose anything if my wishes don’t come true, but i have something to gain if they do come true... and that’s the comforting thought with wishing.

december 2004: you see, when you have many sets of friends, it’s so difficult to make them come together. for my case, it’s so complicated. i think spending time with all of them together in one go would only bring out my almost-always-hidden multiple personalities, hahaha! it’s too dangerous, i think.

january 2005: i have to keep going, if not for myself, then at least for someone else...

february 2005: speed got me when i was just a kid. i wasn’t 5 years old then when i got dragged by a fast-moving motorcycle. why? because i thought i could run as fast as the motorcycle!

march 2005: i don’t wanna pursue one dream, give up the other and, in the end, be haunted by the dream i did not choose. if only i can have my cake and eat it, too...

april 2005: ah, i would love to find myself in caleruega again! the comforting silence, the breath-taking scenery, the sweet scent of the air, the beauty... my soul found a new home there.

may 2005: a thousand heartwarming moments are treasures that all the money in the world can’t buy, but i can have them. you can have them, too.

june 2005: the girl that i am today is already years and leaps apart from the little girl that i was, yet there are things far better than my childhood memories with papang that continue to stay with me... his time, his unconditional love, his passion for providing for the family and giving us what money cannot buy, his showing us what things in life are truly important, his good values, the freedom that he gave me and my brother, his support and guidance through his sound decision-making skills, his genes, his name.

july 2005: i know... i ought to stop whining. i shouldn’t drown the world with my troubles for the problems out there are far greater than whatever ails me...

august 2005: when i was in grade one, i belonged to the end of the spectrum. i was in the last section...

september 2005: i cannot go on deceiving myself that i’m still okay because no matter what, i still know that for every moment of happiness that i find here, really being home could make me feel so much more...

october 2005: be ready with screwdrivers and derring-do. computers need r and r, too. r and r as in re-seating of modular devices and reinstallation.

november 2005: my heart broke so perfectly into a million and one pieces — had the wind fiercely blown the tiny pieces away, they would have scattered like bloodied rose petals on the ground and become puzzle pieces that would never again fit...

december 2005: to hell with suckers. ha ha.

january 2006: my parents regard me as secretive. they’re familiar with my tendency to hold back talking about certain things. they know that i have the tendency to wait for the last crazy minute before i share anything too personal. they know that i don’t tell them a lot of things. they know that despite my being such an incessant talker, i still keep a lot to myself.

february 2006: i’m such an incurable romantic, i don’t really buy the valentine crap. love is sacred and should not be commercialized. you can make me feel giddy on other days… with sweet gestures that have nothing to do with flowers, chocolates, jewelry or dinners in fancy restaurants.

march 2006: maybe what i've been told is true: the answer will just come to me when the universe knows i'm ready. when my right time comes, i'll fall freely into what i'm destined to be and i'll truly, madly, deeply be happy.

april 2006: sometimes i think it's just my pride still holding me together. haha, i wanted that to be funny... but it's heartbreakingly funny.

may 2006: play in the rain up there in benguet, I DID!!!
weeeeeeeeeee...

6 comments:

  1. nice lines…

    i wanna do it tooo.. please allow me to imitate it on my blogs’ anniversary… my first blog is on october and my other blog is next year…

    ReplyDelete
  2. happy 2nd year to you! i'm getting there myself in a few months.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy blogiversary, Caterpillar! After two years of blogging, I suppose the caterpillar has turned into a butterfly already. Hehe.

    ReplyDelete

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