"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Friday, October 31, 2008

pabaon | my 8-year old end-of-october mover is over

"I've always been in love with you (always with you)
I guess you've always known it's true (you know it's true)
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say goodbye"
-- from Madonna's Take a Bow

with renewing of the mind comes letting go of unnecessary drag from the past. i am standing on more stable ground now and able to count on that certain brand of confidence i thought i didn't have.

for a time, i stopped writing about that sad feeling that's been nagging me like unwanted shadow since the latter part of 2005. i tried to bury it deep in the archives of my mind, celebrating the happiness that preceded it and the happiness i get from everything else in my life -- because i am capable. the situation, i soon was able to forgive. what i found difficult was forgiving myself.

i had to learn pushing my EQ to the level of my IQ. i invested on that and began to see with brand-new appreciation the fruits of my efforts. see, i was never really able to forgive myself -- only now (and by conscious decision, like forgiving should be!)

i am now a willing student of change. i shall not look into my old notes and old notebooks anymore. it's pruning (and may i add purging?) time.

with me, a clean slate, a full heart -- "whatever way our stories end".

read the lyrics of this song -- For Good -- for a happy goodbye.

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

Because I knew you

I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...

Because I knew you...

Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

i got the lyrics from one of the emails that i saw in my gmail inbox today (timely!)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

metamorphosis is

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."
-- Romans 12:2 of the Holy Bible

thoughts dictate emotions,
emotions affect decisions,
decisions translate into actions,
actions form habits,
habits talk about attitude and character,
attitude and character make reality,
reality leads to destiny.

with revealed knowledge, we know the end from the beginning.

to change destiny, change reality
to change reality, change attitude and character
to change attitude and character, change habits
to change habits, change actions
to change actions, change decisions
to change decisions, change emotions
to change emotions, change thoughts.

real metamorphosis happens when one changes the way one thinks -- renewing the mind. this is my greatest realization today.

i am grateful for the revelation.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

my father's song

see who's the guardian of the mic

this weekend being a videoke weekend with my pals from work made me reminisce about the family videoke sessions in iligan and recall tonight the song that my father always gets to sing. i like the lyrics a lot... the song speaks of love that is always supportive, always sustaining, always reliable. in two words: ever there.

My Love Will See You Through
Marco Sison

When times get rough
And your dreams just fall apart
And sometimes you feel
That you can't go on
Be strong, hold on
For my love will keep you warm
Through the coldest night
Through the rain, through the storm

When friends turn their backs on you
And you're so helpless
You don't know what to do
I'll be on your side to comfort you
My love will see you through

When tears are in your eyes
And you feel like you wanna cry
Just reach out and I'll be around to understand
When you stumble and fall
And you need a shoulder to lean on
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there with a helping hand

When the road seems so long and endless
And all you see is nothing but darkness
Don't give up just walk on
Have faith in your heart
For my love will see you through

My love will see you through
When you reach for your star
When you cross the deepest sea
When you climb the highest hill
My love will always be with you
In everything you do
In every step you'll make
In every road you take

Don't be afraid to follow your dreams....
For my love will see you through

Saturday, October 11, 2008

my september 2008

"She glances at the photo, and the pilot light
of memory flickers in her eyes."

--Frank Deford

the highlights of my september? bangs and south korea. did i write bangs? did i write south korea? yup, yup.


as for korea...

i was given clearance to fly all over south korea during the fourth week of september 2008. it was quite tiring. 6 flights in 6 days. preparing for the trip was challenging because work kept on piling up to my neck and over my head even when i was finally about to go and attend to the company-mandated business trip. i wasn't quite ready even when the itinerary and expenses were already taken care of.

even if it was work, i enjoyed the trip and had fun. why could i not? our hosts toured us around. plus, my passport finally got devirginized. haha.

i'll probably blog about my experiences in south korea in a separate post. i took very few pictures (870+ only). you may view some of them (10+ albums only ;-P) in my photo pages in multiply (jr's gallery). perhaps, they can tell you the story.

inside the gyeongbok palace grounds in jongnogu, seoul, south korea

i should be saying help me i'm drowning. so much is going on... but why should i complain? i'm still having fun and opportunities continue to come my way.

i say, bring 'em on!

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