intermission

"I know your game and I'm tired of playing it. You are the supreme Radcliffe smart ass. The best. You put down anything in pants. But verbal volleyball is not my idea of a relationship. If that's what you think it's about, go back to your music wonks, and good luck. See, I think you're scared. You put up a wall to keep from getting hurt, but it also keeps you from getting touched. It's a risk, isn't it, Jenny? At least I had the guts to admit what I felt. Someday, you'll have to come up with the courage to admit you care." --from Erich Segal's Love Story

people seem to care a lot about me.

that's like a two-sided coin, right? on one side, it feels good to be looked after. on the other side, people go overboard by...uhm...pushing me to finally have a lovelife -- something which i really don't wanna go into just because of pressure. call me abnormal, i don't care... 'coz that's the way i am. and while i can do things about it, i won't (aws, shucks). so, to all my friends: with a kind smile, i appreciate the concern, but no, thank you. my lovelife (or its non-existence) is off limits, hehehe. if you really care and wanna be of help, then i beg you to just be silent while you wait and watch me fall and please (read: PLEASE!) don't squirm nor make a noise about it, or you'll spoil it for me. you people know me. the more you push me, the more you'll have difficulties in seeing me...uhm...budged?

here's what triggered this post...

just recently, i was subjected to the hotseat of my high school mailing list. an e-mail by my friend yoni (the innocent and clueless, no more) and my cinema buddy's reply started it all:

From: jyie...
Date: Sun Sep 5, 2004 2:18 am
Subject: daghan salamat val---

1. kay giubanan ko nimo adtong nipalit ko ug printer.
2. kay gilibre ko nimo ug breakfast &/or lunch (hehe!)

sori kung na late ka sa imong date with...(secret!) hehehe.
daghan salamat! =)

From: sealc...
Date: Sun Sep 5, 2004 3:43 am
Subject: Re: [ids99] daghan salamat val---

you mean, NAA NA LOVELIFE SI VAL---? hehehehehe.

and before i could even reply to those e-mails, all hell seemed to have broken loose.

From: tricky...
Date: Sun Sep 5, 2004 5:32 am
Subject: Re: [ids99] daghan salamat val---

BURAK!!!!

From: haze...
Date: Sun Sep 5, 2004 7:43 am
Subject: Re: [ids99] daghan salamat val---

yehey val---!!!!!!!!!!

From: jyie...
Date: Sun Sep 5, 2004 8:20 am
Subject: daghana nagreact oi

ayan val--- daghan nuon nagreact
sori wa jud nako gituyo
sealdi grabe ka maka interpret
kabalo baya ka dapat asa si val---
you being floormates and all
anyway val--- fix this hehe
wa pa ka kauli noh
hilom pa man gud ka
bwahahahaha

around after the time that last e-mail was posted, i was already online and back in front of the computer. the defensive being in me made this reply:

From: jr3...
Date: Sun Sep 5, 2004 11:38 am
Subject: Tymsa!

ka-riot ba...

wala koy lovelife no. pero pagnaa na, ingnon ta mo.

ang ka-date nga gi mean ni yoni kay akong biological father og akong biological brother nga tua sa makati, owkey. yoni, kindly back me up on this.

and the exchange went on...

From: jyie...
Date: Sun Sep 5, 2004 12:01 pm
Subject: t A y m S a d A w

hahahaha...
ka date ni val--- iya papa...
diba somewhat same gihapon ang meaning...
riot gihapon ang pipol...

From: haniko...
Date: Sun Sep 5, 2004 10:56 pm
Subject: Re: [ids99] daghana nagreact oi

hala manash...gi-construe man gud nimo sa taman taman si val---...ikaw ang nag-instigate sa mga repapips na mag-wonder sa lablyp ni val---...

hoist katwin valen...what's the real score ba ha? oist kung tinuod na nagpakabayot napud ka, val--- dahlin, ug dili na ka ganahan sa csi (meaning cynical singles incorporated)...FINE! ehehehehehehe burak daw ka ingon ni tricky ay.... bwehehehhehehemooooo

From: ilian...
Date: Mon Sep 6, 2004 3:43 am
Subject: Re: [ids99] t A y m S a d A w

"ka date ni val--- iya papa..."
mao gani... nagdate lagi siya with her PAPA. kinsa imo Papa karon Val? Dato? Ayaw jud sugot ug pubre. Mag-economic crisis na biya ang 'Pinas. hehehehe.

From: jr3...
Date: Mon Sep 6, 2004 3:57 am
Subject: Re: t A y m S a d A w

aguy noy... bantog siguro hangtod karon wala koy lovelife kay sige ko ninyo unhan... INGNAN WALA LAGI LOVELIFE. (kapoy bya emphasize ana...) og dili dato akong amahan. hahay.

mga chismis pipol jud kaayo mo ba, hahahaha...mokalit ra mog post dinhi pag naay chismis, heheheh.

From: sealc...
Date: Mon Sep 6, 2004 6:16 am
Subject: Re: [ids99] Re: t A y m S a d A w

kahinanglan na ka pangitaan ug uyab val...hapit na ka mag-24. diba ana ka sa amoa sa una, dapat maminyo na ka ana na time?

remember, "80% of women who say they are too busy to have a lovelife are actually lonely."

From: jr3...
Date: Mon Sep 6, 2004 7:40 am
Subject: Re: t A y m S a d A w

pagkabam! saon na lang jud ni... mga incriminating quotes.

shucks shucks.

From: haniko...
Date: Mon Sep 6, 2004 9:29 pm
Subject: Re: [ids99] Re: t A y m S a d A w

I agree with you manash na "80% of women who say they are too busy to have a love life are actually lonely." pero happy ko kay dili ko apil ana nga statistics...didto ko sa 20%...mwehehehehehhehe...well kung madcow na ka...dili na nimo kelangan ang lablyp daba....:) hehehehhehe

believe me, kulit...:) pero since ikaw kulit kay naigo...pangita na oi...time is running out na baya...heheheheheh...kasabot ko na tamilian kaayo ka...basta kung kinsa ang tinitibok ng puso mo... sunggaban mo na...ehehhehe (bahala pa kinsa siya...puwera diay kung naa na asawa...mahirap na.:P) ...

... unya ang instigator sa tanan...hoist yoni bata...how is da you?ikaw ha...criminal mind jud ka...ikaw man gud...awa...napag-usapan na tuloy si val--- kulit...heheheh...mistake of facts diay to val---...:)

From: jr3...
Date: Mon Sep 6, 2004 10:34 pm
Subject: the hotseat

oist! kamong mga tawhana mo, dili jud ko ninyo love kay inyo na ko gitabangan. hahahaha! makabuyong man mo oi. bantay lang jud mo ba, friends kaayo ta ba. magstart na lang tingali ko sa akong to-murder-list, ala kill bill list... pero in dilemma ko kay dili ko kabalo kung unsa nga sequence akong sundon (i.e. kinsa'y una, kinsa'y
last...save the best for last man daw). kinsa pa may gusto maapil sa listahan? the more, the better. the better, the cooler. i'm waiting so i can note things down.

peeps, sensyahan sa kalat sa inyong mailboxes. si yoni man gud,
hehehe... the innocent-and-clueless-looking yoni made waves.

From: tricky...
Date: Mon Sep 6, 2004 11:33 pm
Subject: Re: [ids99] Re: t A y m S a d A w

kurata gud! si val--- na inyong pa-pangitaon??? pagkabam! hehehe!

From: superman...
Date: Tue Sep 7, 2004 7:21 am
Subject: Re: [ids99] the hotseat

valyntong wa man kaw mag-saba na na day ka "papapa" diha! basin estudent na nimo hah?!?

day val--- saon nga dman makatuo ang mga pipol nga naka "papa" na gud hehe.

From: jyie...
Date: Tue Sep 7, 2004 9:30 am
Subject: hoy mga warfreak !!! =)

grabe karon ra nako nabasa inyong..uhm..violent reactions.

so this all my fault,huh?cool. =)

first of all,i'm innocent. read my post(again).haha! si val--- mismo niingon nga wala may mali sa akong message. nalingaw baya nuon ko kay daghan nagreact. abi nako dead na pud ang group. wala lang.

anyway, ayaw ninyo awaya si val--- bah, hehe! magkaworld war unya :s

From: haniko...
Date: Tue Sep 7, 2004 9:01 pm
Subject: Re: [ids99] hoy mga warfreak !!! =)

waaaah!

anader by the by yoni...katong innocent inducement na imong gihimo...well oh well...kung hulamon nato ang words ni manang shaldee: "nagmake jud (sic) ug waves"...lingaw jud ning dili nimo ginatuyo bah?heheheh

wala man giaway sa world si val---...actually, magcelebrate gani ta kung naa na jud ni siya lablayp (maging sino man ang partner niya hehehehe). kaya lang todo deny ang lola natin kaya ala na tayong magawa...sha na yun eh...basta en dyu taym magkalablayp lagi ni siya ug ibutang jud niya sa fwendster ang ilang firsts like first holding hands (na niglast ug 48 years), ang ilang first eye contact (na naglast ug 50 minutes walay kurap kurap sa mata...dayon en de end...nagkasore eyes lang silang duha) etc etc etc

o sige....byers...la napud pulos akong mga gipangyawit...i bet sulungon na jud ko ni katwin valen...

and as if all those weren't enough, sealdi posted this on her blog:

"but really miss vawenkatwine aka caterpillar, if you do think about it, "80% of women who say that they are too busy to have a relationship are actually lonely..." hmmmm...a lot of people reacted over the mailing list re: your love life. so we're waiting if you do get your deadline of getting married by the age of 24. you're 21 now...and unfortunately, the object of your affections has proven to be more of a moron than you actually thought. hehehehe."

sealdz, you're meeeeeeeeeeeean ...and you know that (as well as "i know you. you know you. i know that you know that i know you", quoting ben stiller in dodgeball).

you're on the list, no doubt about it (wicked grin).

by the way, thanks for this:

From: sealc...
Date: Tue Sep 7, 2004 10:36 pm
Subject: Re: [ids99] Re: t A y m S a d A w

yoni, dapat lagi dili "PAPA" imo gigamit na word kay nahimo na au ug mainstream ang gay lingo-derived meaning sa papa. from now on, kung papa as in father imo ginamean...gamita na ug AMAHAN.

but that does not change things though... you're still definitely on the list.