"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

one happy gurl

"what more could we wish for?"
--jollibee christmas ad

why i know i've been good and nice...

my first ever roommate in UP told me "i'll always root for you. you're the best roommate i ever had (and that's from me, who is a dormer for seven years)."

she's one of the few people i know who really know timing... i get to receive feel-good emails from her at the right moments -- and i mean those moments when you least expect that someone somewhere is still thinking good about you.

her emails, whenever i come across them, remind me of those rainy days when we would find ourselves outside of the dorm to eat balut or mais... just sharing simple moments among all other moments that could possibly exist.

everytime i find myself in the mall, when i pass by bayo or kamiseta or when i see coffee shops (even mere coffee tables), i get to remember her and wonder how she's doing... even my blue timex watch (which now needs a replacement strap) reminds me of her because she was there with me when i bought it.

i was going through the habit of "cleaning" my mail inboxes when i got to read again the emails she sent me more than a year ago... the things she told me matter a lot to me because she's one of those people who really got to see-and-live-with "the ME" after (and through) every work- and play-day.

here are some of the things she shared with me -- things which assure me of what my own dear mother believes about me: despite my legendary kamalditahan, i'm not completely bereft of good qualities...

"you know, ikaw, kahit hindi ka nagsasalita and malungkot ako, isipin ko lang na nandyan ka lang sa may tapat ng bed ko o study table ko, okey na ako.

kasi you are so mabait (and i don't need to ask favors from you to know that!) and you have this air, like everything has a solution so iniisip ko, oo nga naman.. because sometimes, you make each day seem easy and doable and most importantly-- forgivable ba when the going gets tough and the tough gets going...
(sent to me on march 2, 2005)

"hey, you never did beat me, when it comes to sleeping late (except when i'm sick)...

and i never did beat you when it comes to waking up (boy you can wake up without alarm clock, geez, that's genius)

then we'd sometimes share breakfast at rodics and then go about our business of saving the world

we'll see each other sometimes late lunch, hurrying for our classes, making faces over those dormmates (that's all thank you) who just wouldn't stop screaming..

and then go about our business again, this time, learning some more ways to save the world.

then we'll see each other again, and talk about the day, news, what conrado (de quiros) said, what our students said, what have you in between preparing our lessons for the next day, slaving through our masters or just pretending we're working....

then we'll see who gets to sleep first...
if it's you, i'll tell you to wake me up
then you'll say, "yes but you don't wake up"
and then i'll say, "kick me"
then you'll say, "one day, i'll really kick you."
i like you so much because i know you won't
(sent to me on july 8, 2005)

if there's one more thing you people should know, she also sent me these words at a time when i was still not so hell bent on traveling around the country:

"we should do a group thingy like we travel as a group -- the whole country ...basically, the group will be composed of people who love films, books, food and what have you, have nice sense of humor, play it safe mischievously, romantic, crazy, funny, smart but can be really stupid..." (she meant people like us!)

that i have a friend like her, it warms up my heart. that the universe allowed my paths to cross with hers and, in the process, made us very good friends, it's one of the blessings i'm very thankful for... at 24.

just so you'd know...

i turned 24 on december 18. i had my birthday celebration -- with lechon and birthday cake -- last december 17.

fit for a simple december birthday party

my first birthday celebration in 3 (maybe 4?) years
(nevermind that i was suffering from flu ;P)

...and i wanna thank the people who remembered and cared enough to greet me happy birthday: randy, ate river, anwar, kuyang, patrick, cheena, ralph, ivan, tiffany and jerk, yoni, imee, kuya eli, edson, sealdi, rose, sir rodion, joseph, johncy, miezel, mamang, papang, nikki, ate riza, vl, tita yen, ate bing and kei, mickoy, shella, tita emie, auntie ton, den, jing, tita bin, rv, ronron, tita ludy, daddy danny, mommy carmen, ate che, ate lyn, bonbon, tetet, uncle doods, auntie josie, uncle alan, neil al, bim, poy, auntie olive...oh dear, i hope did not miss anyone out.

on the very day of my 24th birthday, my papang brought home my happy food -- ice cream!!! ...and i also got to see a beautiful fireworks display right outside my room's window. hmmm, i think i'm gonna have a good year ahead.

warm childhood memories're made of these...

here's wishing you a happy christmas!


  1. maayong adlawng natawhan dai, feliz cumpleaños ingon pa si dora the explorer, feliz navidad nalang pud ug apil :-)

  2. Hey, belated happy birthday to you!

    Sorry for this late greeting. I feel terribly guilty. :(

    Anyway, it’s Christmas. I hope I’m forgiven. :)

    Happy holidays!

  3. kars, thanks!

    ate bambit, salamat sa greetings! malipayong pasko pud sa inyong tibuok banay!!!

    Abaniko, hahaha… and to think i got a call from you the day after my birthday. for a moment, i thought you were calling to greet me.

    think you’re forgiven? duh. i don’t know how to forgive. hehehe. JOKE lang!

    Happy Holidays, fellow december baby!


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