"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

deflated pride, yey!

last saturday, 2nd of may 2009, i blew my pride into a balloon and i managed to make my balloon so big -- i was afraid it would end up exploding in my face but it didn't and i was kinda disappointed. a huge part of me was actually relieved because it meant that i could take home the balloon with me. yey!

in a way i was proud of my "pride". i was able to effectively blow air into my balloon (which is why it grew so big, big, big) which means (1) i have healthy enough lungs, (2) i am good at blowing, and (3) i am good in keeping the air inside it.

one thing i realized during the duration of the exercise though was this: i would have saved myself the effort of puffing and puffing and from feeling the pain caused by the resisting balloon material on my fingers if i'd just simply given up on my pride and let the air out -- let things be, so to speak.

anyway, i brought home the balloon. i placed my "pride" on a strategic spot relative to where i sleep, so i could have a glimpse of it just before i close my eyes at night and see it as soon as i wake up in the mornings.

yesterday, 3rd of may 2009, i didn't notice a change in the size of the balloon. today, 4th of may, i woke up early and saw that the balloon has finally slightly deflated. tonight, just as i'm about to sleep, i'm glad to know that the balloon has already shrunk to the size of my palm. i'd like to think the same thing has happened to my pride since saturday.

deflate pride, deflate. i don't want you to be blocking any access to my blessings.

p.s. i'm thinking of inflating that balloon again -- just so i could have a concrete reminder that i should always root for curbing the manifestations of my "high" pride.

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