"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Saturday, November 18, 2006

the month-long countdown

"A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving."
-- Albert Einstein

Lilypie Baby Ticker

let me begin this post with recent manifestations of my halfwit-ty tendencies:

"i deserve to dream because i sleep a lot."

"i like you because i like me."

...at, dear people, ito ang pinakamatindi...

"yung bata ngang kinain ng buwaya di natin pinatay, yung buwaya pa kaya?"

i was not drunk when i said that, bangag lang talaga.

weeeeeee!!! i'm turning 24 soon.

at 23, i feel quite accomplished yet i still desire to do more. there's still a lot to conquer out there and, well, things have just begun for me, so to speak.

yesterday, i finally saw the hard-bound form of my master's thesis and i felt proud of myself. i also went out last night for another let's paint session and, yes, i also felt proud of myself because of that.

i chose a bigger block of plaster to paint on this time. pictures? sure i'll be sharing them with you all soon, let me just find the time to transfer the photo files from my phone to the computer. for now, i'll just share that the block had a fruity design. the table of fruits reminded me of my first few successful painting sessions with my art mentor back in 1989 -- a long, long time ago. i managed to transform the all-white block into something very colorful and yummy to the eyes!

11.27.06 update: transformation of my new block

haaay, i used to draw and paint a lot when i was still a wee youngling (as if i really went through that phase of being oh-soooooo wee, hehe). my mother saw my fascination for the colors and clear interest in doing art during my early years, so she enrolled me in a summer art workshop. the school year after that and during the years that followed, i continued pursuing my art by spending a lot of my after-school time with an art mentor. i was made to join art contests and it couldn't be helped that i emerged champion in some (haha, ang angas ba?). i could say that the highlight of my grade school years was my romance with art. i liked going up the school stage during recognition ceremonies because of the artist of the year award. belonging to the top 5 of the class was just another reward.

art unfortunately took the backseat during my high school years. don't ask me why, it just happened. my ventures into visual arts around that time only surfaced in the form of projects and as hastily-drawn backgrounds for our plays. i ceased showing up at my mentor's place; i also ceased being inspired enough to join art competitions. looking back, it was a pity that i pursued other (probably lesser?) interests. i don't know, maybe it's just how things were meant to be.

when i got out from college, i told myself i'd get back to my art. my attempts in that direction have not really been full-hearted, however. sure, i've gone back to having art outputs but they only come at intervals of several months... and most often, i'm not quite satisfied with them. but then maybe i'm just expecting from myself too much.

it's been awhile since i last painted and actually enjoyed my painting output. so now here's hoping you would understand just how happy i felt when i saw how my latest painting session turned out. heaven. i really felt proud.

you know what's the idea playing in my mind? i'd love to mentor kids to paint during our common spare time... for free! i imagine it would be fun and really rewarding!

back to my turning 24. soon.

i'm sure one of the things that would come to my close friends' minds when they come across this article would be somewhere along these lines:

"you're turning 24! didn't you say you're getting married at 24??!
so what now???"

haaaay. that's one dream of mine that i knew will go pffft but dreamt of, nevertheless. dreaming is free, right? dreaming is free alright but reality has a price. i can't even completely take care of myself. can any other excuse top that? haha, do i hear you mumbling "excuses! excuses!"?

speaking of dreams, there's another dream that will not be made real.

didn't jory, sealdi, and i plan on reaching batanes before we turn 24? here's the update: jory and sealdi already turned 24, jory is in new york now, and i'm soon turning 24 but WE haven't gone to batanes!!! i was hoping i could have that "batanes before my 24th birthday" dream -- batanes being my dream destination and all -- but... i just know that current circumstances won't permit me. a trip to batanes would cost me more than what i can currently afford. plus, my time's being eaten up by things that i still have to deal with. there will surely be another time. as my travel buddy would say, 'timing is everything'. aight, timing is important -- that's my take on timing, by the way.

i feel i'm starting to be a little more responsible now. with that, i also get to realize that i have so many fears, after all. but i don't wanna discuss my fears with y'all now. not a lot of people are privy to them and most, i plan to keep only to myself... for now.

oh, i've been checking out cars lately. i've been thinking of owning them EVENTHOUGH I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY ANY OF THEM AND I DON'T DRIVE. it's just that they're my new idea of toys. i'm talking about real cars and NOT toy cars. gowsh, what's happening to me? oh well. oh well. oh well!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

lines, lines, and lines

lines from my fave movies...

There was a dream... You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile.
-- Gladiator (2000)

Rhett Butler: Do you know what I'm talking about?
Scarlett: No! I only know that I love you.
Rhett Butler: That's your misfortune.
Scarlett: Oh, Rhett! Rhett! Rhett, Rhett! Rhett... if you go, where shall I go, what shall I do?
Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
-- Gone With The Wind (1939)

Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance... you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope.
-- The Lion King (1994)

Squirt: Remember... rip it, roll it, and punch it.
Marlin: Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying.
-- Finding Nemo (2003)

The man of my dreams has almost faded now. The one I have created in my mind. The sort of man each woman dreams of, in the deepest and most secret reaches of her heart. I can almost see him now before me. What would I say to him if he were really here? "Forgive me. I have never known this feeling. I have lived without it all my life. Is it any wonder, then, I failed to recognize you? You, who brought it to me for the first time. Is there any way that I can tell you how my life has changed? Any way at all to let you know what sweetness you have given me? There is so much to say..."
-- Somewhere in Time (1980)

Simon Wilder: Women. Ain't they perfect?
Monty: Not always.
Simon Wilder: Yes, they are, they're perfect. Don't matter if they're skinny, fat, blonde or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it's the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy, oh, boy, women are perfect.

Simon Wilder: Yes I'm a bum. But I'm a Harvard bum.
-- With Honors (1994)

Well when I think of home, I... I think of something specific. I think of my, my hammock in the backyard or my wife pruning the rosebushes in a pair of my old work gloves.
-- Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.

The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.
-- You've Got Mail (1998)

Never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss, every day I'm loving you more and more. Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Come back to me and forgive everything. Seasons may change winter to spring. I love you until the end of time.
-- Moulin Rouge (2001)

They cursed us. Murderer they called us. They cursed us. And we wept, Precious, didn't we? We wept to be so alone. And we only lust to catch fish so juicy sweet. And we forgot the taste of bread... the sound of trees... the softness of the wind. We even forgot our own name, My Precious.
-- LOTR: The Return of the King (2003)

That night, Dadinho killed his dream of kill.

Li'l Ze: Dadinho my dick, my name now is Zé Pequeno, FUCK!
-- City of God (2002)

Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband. And sometimes it feels really close. But then other times it seems silly like it would ruin my whole life. And it's not just a fear of commitment or that I'm incapable of caring or loving because... I can. It's just that, if I'm totally honest with myself I think I'd rather die knowing that I was really good at something. That I had excelled in some way than that I'd just been in a nice, caring relationship.
-- Before Sunrise (1995)

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past.
-- Before Sunset (2004)

some fave lines from songs and movies...

Can i keep you?
-- Casper (1995)

There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say. You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain... To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny. Won't you tell me is that healthy...?
-- Kiss from A Rose - Seal (1995)

How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out 'til you're torn apart... How can you connect in an age where strangers, landlords, lovers, your own blood cells betray? What binds the fabric together when the raging, shifting winds of change keep ripping away?
-- Rent (2005)

What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Bach, the Beatles, and me?
-- Love Story (1970)

I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.
-- Empire Records (1995)

In a moment we lost our minds here and lay our spirit down. Today we lived a thousand years, all we have is now.
-- Run to the Water - Live (1999/2000)

There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ pre-requisite, but there's no secret handshake.
-- Reality Bites (1994)

that's all for now. remind me of the rest. hmmm... nothing in filipino? wait 'til next time. *winks*

Saturday, November 04, 2006

caution: a very long post

"On behalf of every Filipino, we invite you to come and see
the cultures, attractions, and sights
that make up our 7, 107 islands."

-- the Biyahe Tayo! travel advocacy campaign

you've been warned! this is one very long post (with 12 photos). to make up for the hiatus? you bet. hahaha...

first, let's have a run-through of what i've been up to. i packed my things, bade my room and roommate goodbye, left diliman, went home to my family and my iligan, traveled to davao, attended a scientific conference, met bisaya bloggers, had a memorable eat-all-you-can experience, hied off to samal island, went home to my iligan, traveled with my family to tangub city, and... well, you get the picture: from one experience to another, from one circle to another, from one place to another!

got backpack, will travel

i packed my things...
i knew that the moment i'm done with "thesis my quest" i wasn't going to stay any longer in metro manila, so i assumed the mindset of "i'm leaving, i'm finally leaving".

things weren't easy.

one week before my scheduled departure, i wasn't prepared to go. i was out in corregidor and enjoying my trip around that very historic rocky island. all thoughts of finally going home to iligan and leaving metro manila were temporarily set aside. i had not yet bought my flight ticket. i had not yet made any flight reservations. i had not yet packed my things.

i was stalling.

nonchalance | whatever you call it...
during the days leading to my departure, concerned individuals noticed my nonchalance about the entire matter and were curious to know if i've already packed my things and done this and that. i... i had no ticket, i had no box to pack my gazillion things in, i still had to sort all my stuff, i... i knew i was really going and yet i did not have the heart to really prepare for my trip home. i went on living day after day as if i wasn't moving out so soon.

as early as september, my family and close friends knew that i was going home on the 22nd of october (sunday)... yet i only moved to have my flight booked on the 20th of october (friday) and i only set out to purchase the flight ticket the next day (saturday). more than that, i only started packing less than 24 hours before my flight. talk about only doing things at the last minute!

after buying a balikbayan box and packaging tape, i went to sleep when i should have started packing right away. when i woke up, i tinkered with my computer, logged on, and put off sorting my things to a later time. i was really stalliiiinnnng. i eventually dealt with the box. i secured its bottom and the edges with layers of packaging tape... as slowwwwwlllly as i could. as i was doing that, i was stupidly singing "leaving on a jet plane", and my roommate couldn't help but be amused. when i saw my box already sturdy and ready to be filled, i decided to stall some more. i went back to facing the computer, absent-mindedly blog-hopped, and then... i listened to my rational side. "okay, okay, i can't put things off anymore. i'm packing."

packing frenzy...
pack, i did! i turned off my computer, dealt with my computer/printer cables, cleared my desk, pulled my books from the shelves, and got my clothes and stuff from the cabinet. close to ten hours and several trash bags after, i still wasn't ready to go. i realized i had too many things and i couldn't bring all of them with me in one go. my books alone took all the space in my oh-so-big maleta. the rubber on one of the maleta's wheels broke off due to too much weight! hahaha. with the balikbayan box already so filled with my clothes and with no extra big box to pack the rest of my things in, i had no choice but to temporarily leave a lot of my things behind -- under my roommate's bed.

i got so busy packing and arranging things inside my balikbayan box and maleta (and stuffing trash into garbage bags, too) that i did not get to sleep during the night anymore. at 9am, i still was far from ready to leave for the airport -- i've already taken a bath but i was not yet done packing.

my flight's estimated time of departure was 11:45am. i was only able to leave diliman at close to 10am. ah, talk about me courting flight misadventures!

good thing, all the universe conspired for me that day. i had a helpful roommate who saw me off at our dorm's entrance walk. i got a taxi with a genuinely nice driver. a good dispatcher helped me with my things in the airport and even got me a porter who patiently dealt with my 77 kilos of baggage. i was able to catch my flight. i got reunited with my family in cagayan de oro city on schedule. all of us, including my oh-so-heavy baggage, safely got home to our iligan. for all those, i am very, very grateful.

oooops! sorry...
bad thing, i forgot to pay my porter. in my excitement over the fact that i was given clearance to board the plane despite arriving at the airport way after the second call for securing boarding passes, i forgot about my porter! waaaaaaaa... i'm ashamed. i swear, i'll seek him out when i get back to manila and pay him several-fold to make up for my lapse.

i traveled to davao...
i got home on the 22nd of october (sunday). on tuesday night, 24th of october, i left home and made my way to davao city... alone. i took the 11pm bus going to cagayan de oro (CDO) city. the bus was the non-aircon type and, well, i could best describe that bus ride as biyaheng langit! hahaha... fast and furious speed. the bus arrived in CDO in no time and i was able to catch the 12mn non-aircon bus going to davao. la la laaa...

from iligan to cagayan de oro to bukidnon to davao for me!

bukidnon-davao (BuDa) land trip
the trip to davao reminded me of the beatles' "the long and winding road...". the road to davao was really looooong and wwwwiinding. it took long enough for me to go through that cycle of falling asleep and then waking up several times. hehehe.

i got to appreciate a lot about that trip though: i liked the cool air. i witnessed a beautiful sunrise. i saw the fog that enveloped the mountains. i loved the fact that even if i was traveling alone, i did not get bored nor scared. i did not know the streets of davao but i did not worry. i was bold enough to take on a que sera sera, what will be will be attitude.

davao city | 7am, wednesday, 25th of october
i got off the bus that took me there from CDO. i got on a taxi and told the driver to head for marfori heights. i got to marfori heights alright and was able to locate the house of my labmate in no time. yes, once again, all the universe conspired for me! hay, what a lucky child i am!

why was i in davao? for some nerdy and geeky major reason: a three-day scientific conference. i went to listen, participate, give a talk, and enjoy the company of my labmates and scientist friends. no kidding. i have proof!

10.25-27.06. some conference pictures...
disclaimer: no, that "atomic" item, that's not my slide

i had another major reason, too: another october travel adventure. ooh la la. traveling is really one of my passions!

while in davao, i took the opportunity to meet up with the bisaya bloggers there. i skipped one conference dinner and spent time with the davao-based bisaya bloggers.

evening, thursday, 26th of october
kars and i agreed to meet in ateneo de davao. when i got to ateneo (which, by the way, is the only place i was familiar with in davao aside from my host's house), kars was not yet there. it was raining hard that night and she was having difficulty getting a taxi. the one i saw standing on the steps of the main entrance was shawty. it was our first meeting ever! when kars eventually arrived, the three of us made our way to the venue and had dinner at suka't sili. let's see... my labmates and i had dinner at luz kinilaw on wednesday night and we bisaya bloggers had dinner at suka't sili that thursday night.

we ordered liempo, stuffed squid, inihaw na tuna belly, and iced tea. shawty ordered a bottle of red horse, too. while waiting for our food to come, we talked and talked about our bisdak existence and i took pictures of kars and shawty. when our food arrived, i took more pictures. hehehe. it can no longer be denied that i'm so shutter-happy.

from the venue, we decided to move to matina town square (MTS). as we were making our way out of the compound, it rained sooooooo hard! cats and dogs, man, cats and dogs... and na-testingan jud ang among pagkalaagan! instead of being deterred by the rain, we became more determined to get to MTS. while waiting for a taxi to come around to the already seemingly flooded loading/unloading area of the compound, i played with the camera and took more pictures. come high or low water, i couldn't be deterred from my attempts of documenting my get-together with the astig bisdak bloggers of davao!

we were eventually able to get to MTS. there, shawty ordered blugre's durian-flavored coffee for me. she said that i should taste it so i did -- it was oh-so-good! and that's coming from me who happens to be not a big fan of coffee -- i rarely (as in very, very, very rarely) drink coffee. while in blugre, another bisaya blogger whom i have not met before came to join our party. jerry came with his lalabs, ava, whom i've already met more than four years ago as my indoor group rapporteur in tagaytay. wow, small world!

10.26.06. bisaya bloggers in davao

it was a sober but fun night for the five of us: shawty, moi, kars, jerry and ava. i told shawty i was willing to glug alcohol as a courtesy shot for her but even that courtesy shot, i wasn't able to have. the time for me to find my way back to my labmate's house came too soon.

friday, 27th of october
my third day in davao started right. it's amazing how just one simple text message from that one person could make my day, hehe. i felt i must have done something right... or maybe it's just all the universe conspiring for me once again. cool noh?

in the afternoon, after the last series of conference talks, my labmates and i went to see the crocodile show in davao's crocodile park.

10.27.06. davao crocodile park

what did we see? exotic animals. colorful birds. playful monkeys. hyper-active ostrich. iguanas. an owl with cute eyes. rabbits. eagle. snakes. local chicken. leopard cat. turtles. monitor lizards. crocodiles. big and small crocodiles. cute baby crocodiles. far-from-cute adult crocodiles. moving crocodiles. open-mouthed crocodiles. hungry crocodiles. ferocious-looking crocodiles... and a very able tightrope walker who dared to play on the rope several times, seemingly oblivious to the danger of falling into that mossy pool filled with, you guess it, crocodiles!

after our trip to the crocodile park, we trooped to nanay bebeng's in marfori for an eat-all-you-can dinner. sulit! actually, it was our thank you treat to our generous host family.

10.27.06. eat-all-you-can dinner at nanay bebeng's

saturday, 28th of october
my labmates and i started the day early. we trooped to the apo view to meet up with another group. then, together, all of us got into this public utility vehicle that took us to the sta. ana wharf. our destination from there? the island garden city of samal!

10.28.06. yey, samal for a saturday destination!

island garden city of samal
fancy name for a place? sounds like paradise? ...but i guess the island lives up to its island garden city stature.

we got to samal island by swimming the entire distance from davao city. nah, just kidding! we took a ferry ride...

10.28.06. on our way to samal

isla reta moments
our group got off the ferry at sta. cruz, talicud, island garden city of samal. the beach that awaited us there looked majestic from afar... and it really was! white sand. clear seawater. nice beach. all ours. the sun beating down on us as we had fun on that part of the island gave us that complete tropical island feel!

10.28.06. island getaway pics

10.28.06. at the beach resort

10.28.06. at the beach resort, too
tropical food, glorious food, wonderful food

our samal island getaway moments? sight-seeing. talisay-tree climbing. swimming. starfish-ing. picture-taking. eating: durian and marang. more sight-seeing. more swimming. more starfish-ing. more picture-taking. more eating: chocolates, chips, inihaw na isda, inihaw na manok. more swimming (worth mentioning at least twice! hehe)... and snorkeling!!! we found nemo there!

10.28.06. end of our group adventure in samal

from samal, we hired a pump boat to bring us back to davao city. we were kinda hoping we would still be able to go all the way from magsaysay to malagos for us to visit the philippine eagle sanctuary. we really tried to beat time... but our best efforts were in vain. we were able to leave samal too late. when we got to malagos, the eagle facility was already closed. huhu. just as well, at least, we were given a good reason to look forward to our next davao visit (whenever that will be)!

i went to tangub city...
i got home to my iligan from davao on the 29th of october (sunday). on the 31st day of october, i traveled again! this time, i was with my family.

from iligan to mukas, lanao del norte to ozamiz to tangub city for us!

10.31.06. another travel
the family that travels together, stays together :P

my papang, mamang, two younger sisters and i (too bad, my kuyang is currently away) traveled to tangub city. what i liked most about this recent trip's the fact that it was the first time after a long, long time that we went to tangub without the family vehicle. the experience of us having to transfer from one ride to another and having to carry our respective bags (instead of just dumping them together in the car) seemed so novel to me, although i've already had that kind of family experience too many times more than 10 years ago.

you don't have to say it. i know my skin color stands out! in the pictures, i look like lasaw na champorado put beside whitish lugaw -- fine with me because i like my color. hehe.

why tangub city? it's my papang's hometown.

it's now the 4th of november. our family just got back from our trip.

oh, on a side trip to our relatives' place in bonifacio, misamis occidental, my sisters and i had some rafting fun...

bamboo rafting, sister bonding

(1) another "dear diary, i traveled, i hope this does not bore the reader" article has been brought to you by me. hahaha.

(2) if you don't find this boring, then you'll gonna wonder where my next destination will be... pray i'll tell. maybe you should just keep being posted.

(3) for another independent account of my night with the bisaya bloggers of davao, click here.
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