"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


"Loving is a lot like watching a twenty-minute fireworks display. Exciting. Emotional. Romantic. Sweet. Memorable.
But it also ends as dramatically as it began and, in the end, all there's left is a starless night..."

-- forwarded text message

so you really fell for him?


are you still or is there a part of you that's still holding on?

"yes... even if i don't want to. sakit sa akong pride but... the answer to that question is a yes."

thank God for friends who dared to be blunt and straightforward. they asked me the right questions so i gave them my most honest answers.

thanks to the bottles of red horse extra strong beer that we had last weekend, too, for failing to do the job of kicking my good senses out of their respective sockets.

what's his name?

"ah, noooooo. i won't tell."

ahm, calixto.! let's call him calixto!

"ngek! hahahaaaaaaa... no, dili calixto iyang name."

so what's his name?

"i'm not going to tell you. i don't think you know him, anyway. basta, dili calixto iyang name."

so there. for all the grilling that they subjected me to, my friends were able to draw out some important answers from me, but not really everything.


awwwww, a few hours after going through that exercise, something sank in: i felt how much i miss him -- my all-time fave crush and sadly, my first heartbreak (ouch! damned life. where's the nearest bridge? hehehe).

so you still like to find out what his name really is?

well, for the record, his name is not calixto. haha...

p.s. if you know his name, sssssssh... respect the secret. :-) by the way, thanks to the following ids99 who showed up for our get-together last weekend: ilian, rowcey, mishay, eldani, jezer and yoni.

it was fun, :-P


  1. fun! mao lang! hehehe!
    rowcey asa ang pix?!?!

  2. hmm, calixto sounds... uhmm, a littleweird. hehehe:) i mean you don't hear that name a lot.;)

  3. hmmm.... hmmmm...

    this is what's playing on my mind for the past few days. Jason Blunt's Your Beautiful

    But it's time to face the truth,
    I will never be with you.

    oh well.

  4. Hey I was reading ur messages and I think that , that was sad. I know what it feels like 2 be hurt by my boyfriend and pushed to the side like nothing important we known each other since we were wow we go way back in the days in the 4th grade we like each but didn’t tell.after 4th grade I’ve never heard of him again. But somewhere in
    2005 we fianally got in contact and we started goin out and then all of a sudden I guess the long distance relationship got to him because he didn’t trust me.We broke up and all I could do was cry.ever since then I saw no one else. I knew he was the one 4 me but I guess I was wrong.My mind says I hate him 4 what he did but my heart still tells me I love him and miss him.But oh well he missed out on a beatiful and smart girl thats his lost. thats why people got to trust each other well L8ter hope 2 chat like this again soon

  5. I’m not curious about the name. I’m curious about the reason/s why you like the guy. Usisero ba, no? Hehe.

  6. gEEEmail, hehehe, friends jud ta.

    BabyPink, i do get what you mean. hehehe...

    nicole, thanks for what you shared, go well. in fairness to "him", he never was my boyfriend.

    gwapo_na_baktin, oh well.

    kars, who's calixto? hahaha...

    abaniko, why i like the guy? that's a good question (*winks*), hahaha. i might be able to share my why's someday.

  7. there might be a few twenty-minute fireworks displays that you'll encounter along the road but you'll eventually find a long lasting display. when you do, it won't leave you feeling empty but contented. it's always bound to happen to everyone.

  8. apir ta diha pilar! tsk lab sucks gyud...pero hindi naman siguro caterpillow ang name niya? hehe

  9. hmm.. connect jud diay sa akong "I thought di nako ganahan niya" na line..
    but I think murag di najud ko ganahan, pero murag ganahan gihapon ko.. toinkz! haaaay..

  10. as in?! your 1st time? wala lang... (as if pud ko bah.. hahaha..)

    we can say love sucks but on the other hand, it'll make you soar sa kalangitan...

    I had my heart broken once.. as in super kasakit.. as some of my friends say "na-carajo"... na-biktima sa gugma? hehe.. traumatized ang bata uy..

    But later, pag-college... I met somebody na made me feel really special... hahah! chika na au ko...

    xenxa na... chikadora jud ko...


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