"a caterpillar doesn't just grow into a butterfly. a caterpillar must undergo metamorphosis, and a cocoon is where a caterpillar risks it all: enters total chaos, undergoes total rebuilding, and is born to a new way of living. only in taking the risk of entering that inert cocoon can the caterpillar go from dormancy to potency, from ugliness to beauty."

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

this blog talks, i talk

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia."
--E.L. Doctorow

hello world! the blog owner seems to be distracted by a lot of things lately -- she likes to dabble into a lot of things all at once, that's why -- so i get to do all the talking for now. ahahay! i have a lot to tell, hang on!

first things first, let me introduce myself. ahurm. i'm caterpillar talk, the blog with a curious name. i started to occupy this spot around may 2004 because the blog owner (from here on referred to as she) decided to give blogging a try. i'm a mere product of her whim. that kid, she's weird, i tell you. i mean, she christened me caterpillartalk after all. she even took on the blogger name, caterpillar. hellur? so tasteless. that or she's clearly out of her mind -- that kid. she should have named me bitter juice or something. (shut up. i like your name. it's like girl talk, you know -- caterpillar)

like what they say, whatever!

she viewed me as an experiment. she got curious with blogging so she claimed her spot from blogger, set me up, and gave me a name. along with my name, she assigned to me a quote she got somewhere and made it appear that her caterpillar concept was well-thought. well-thought, who's she kidding??? in truth, she settled for the caterpillar concept because she didn't know any better and she didn't have the patience to wait for another concept to come by. (for your information, the caterpillar concept was solidly built around an idea based on my interactions with old-time pals. stop being psycho will you? -- caterpillar)

as i was saying, she viewed me as an experiment. i was a test of patience to her. she wasn't sure blogging would suit her just fine. nevertheless, she gave it a try. she wanted to find out. she knew she can write, she knew she could come up with something, but could she keep at it? could she last? could she find her own voice in the blogosphere? could she stick with me? for how long? for how long before her patience snaps? i'm almost 3 years old now, what do you say?

crap. my time's up. she's taking over. please tell her to upgrade my looks -- doesn't she find all this green tacky?

- ¤ -

"Every author in some way portrays himself in his works,
even if it be against his will."


curiosity. creativity. conversations. celebrations. this blog is my primary online outlet for those. i get to live with my questions here and explore new horizons for creativity. i get to discover ways on how to better organize my thoughts and my memory of things and events -- i even get to eternalize them.

this blog is an online memory vault as well as a refuge tunnel. not only do i get to drown myself with writing here, i also get to defeat my insecurities, build my esteem, and learn a thing or two about anger management. blogging thaws out the icy cold grip of bad emotions and makes me warm by providing me with something constructive to do.

this has done me good. i learned some HTML skills and some coding tricks -- so now i get some sense of high by playing big brother in this tiny corner of bloglandia. i found better use of my time and i'm now able to write more spontaneously. what's more, i found in here a dynamic environment for one of the things that i cherish most in life -- interactions. from these interactions, i get to learn a great deal.

i found new friends and people with beautiful minds here. i also got to know more about my friends. eventhough we try to write under different names and somehow keep our anonymity from the rest, the nature of our personalities and our hidden abilities get revealed through the things that we write. as abaniko once shared his opinion about it, "it seems we can't deny who we really are."

blogging exposes us. we may never get to see our fellow bloggers' penmanships or faces or meet them in person, but we're able to identify who they really are by paying attention to their writing styles and blogging mannerisms.

i appreciate the so-alive network of people here in blog world -- it makes blogging rewarding. blogs are alive with expressions, opinions, sentiments, comments, and exchanges from people of all walks of life. there's a sense of community here. even those who don't blog get to participate by contributing to blog traffic -- even lurkers and accidental visitors have their say, at least, in terms of page hits.

sure, i still keep journals, jot down ideas using pen and paper, and write cryptic bullet entries on desk calendars BUT i also keep on blogging. my journals, my scraps of paper, and my desk calendars, they do me good especially because they allow me to monitor my penmanship. however, they don't talk back to me like this blog does.

my blog is alive because here, i'm not the only one talking. i'm not the only one reading. in a lot of ways, i owe the life of this blog to you, reader.

p.s. to date, caterpillar talk has 230+ commented blog entries. not all comments are good -- some, like this, this, and this, came straight from hell. like the government, i have "destabilizers". like elections, i get my share of nuisance participants.


  1. As you monitor your penmanship, if you don't like what you see, consider a visit to http://learn.to/handwrite

    Kate Gladstone
    The Handwriting Repairwoman

  2. yeshua and katrina veronica inciong's comments remind me so much of a mock debate in college with this as motion:

    "THBT prositution promotes tourism."

    that's why i took away my shoutbox and that's why i moderated comments late last year. i need to protect my humble blog from destabilizers.

  3. pastilan kataas. grabe ka bored si ms schizopillar. hehe joke lang, mwah!


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